Tag Archives: interwebs

>Dilemma

>I’m trying to figure out if an effort to translate the entire Bible (both Testaments!) into LOL speak makes me love my fellow humans more or hate them with my whole heart.

Probably hate.

However, I wanted to see what my favourite passage in the Bible (I may be a sinner but that Jebus guy had some wicked cool ideas, yo) would read like in LOL speak.  Conclusion: I don’t think it’s all that easier (or harder) to read than the old English versions of the Bible… but it is infinitely funnier. And I think Jebus would dig that. Srsly.

teh catitudes

1
Wen he seez lotz kittehz, he climbz tree. His BFz climbz tree too.
2
He sez hai and he teaches teh kittehs, he sez:
3
Cheezburgrz 4 teh n00b kittehs, theys can has teh Ceiling.
4
Cheezburgrz 4 teh sad kittehs, theys can has petting.
5
Cheezburgrz 4 teh m33k kittehs, theys can has teh urfs.
6
Cheezburgrz 4 teh kittehs who sez “I can has gud, plz?”, theys can has it.
7
Cheezburgrz 4 teh kittehs dat no pwns, Ceiling Cat no pwnz0rz thems.
8
Cheezburgrz 4 teh kittehs wiff purr in hartz, theys can sees Ceiling Cat.
9
Cheezburgrz 4 teh kittehs dat sez shhhhh!, Ceiling Cat is liek “u mai kittehs.”
10
Cheezburgrz 4 teh kittehs dat gets pwned by otehrs fur haz gud, theys can has teh Ceiling too.
11
Cheezburgrz if otehrs be liek “DO NOT WANT” 2 u, an liez abt u, coz of meh.
12
B teh happys n party, coz u can has cookiez n cakez in Ceiling. Iz liek wen theys been liek “DO NOT WANT” to all teh holee kittehs b4.

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Little work joys

>A few of you know that I’m working at a new company.  They are Headshift*, and so far I dig them supreme. It is a new way of working for me (from using a Mac to putting everything on an internal wiki) and everyone here is really cool.

I know. I said that about the last place. And the place before that. The one before that was balls to start and stayed balls to the end… but the two before this one were pretty good (until they weren’t). So I’m wary of the honeymoon stage.  But so far this one is a good ‘un.  I’m allowed to Twitter at work. On all three accounts (my main one, my work one, and Miller‘s). There’s a lot to learn (I’m even learning coding) and a lot to do. So it’s all good.

But here is a small bit of working joy that made me happy.

When I applied for the role I read through their website. In my cover letter to the company I very cheekily pointed out that they had spelled “campaign” incorrectly on one of the pages. I thought this was an extremely clever way of illustrating that I really had checked out the website as well as my amazing attention to details. Turns out my attention to details is made of fail: I forgot to attach my CV to my email. (S’okay, they hired me anyway.)

Now, in most companies (or at least “most companies that I’ve worked for”), it would take forever to get something like that changed on the website. Multiple departments would be consulted. There would probably be a meeting to discuss it. We’d probably have to hire someone to consult… something.

Know how hard it was to get that spelling mistake fixed here?

I logged in and fixed it.

I didn’t have to ask anyone. I didn’t have to dick around in anyway. I just had to log in and correct a spelling mistake. And while I was at it, I fixed a link. If you clicked on my name on the people page, it linked to Jon’s profile. I’m not Jon! So I just changed it and now it links to me. And then I smiled.

Everything at work should be this easy.

*I feel a disclaimer is necessary here. Just because I work for them and I’m linking to their site, Headshift in NO way endorse Captain Turbotastic’s work, opinions or habitual use of the word “fucktard”. Seriously. Would you?

Twittless

>If you are a twitterer (I’m sure there’s another word for that) you know the awful truth: Twitter* is down today, possibly due to a DOS attack. It doesn’t really matter why. What matters is that I can’t make a witty quip about the woman on the bus doing her make-up on the way to work in 140 characters or less. That’s what matters.

As Wired.com so introspectively put it: How do you confirm Twitter is down without Twitter?

You could check http://istwitterdown.com/ (Is it just me or is this new meme hilarious? I mean, for now… once it becomes too popular and you start seeing this kind of page everywhere I’m going to start punching the interwebs in the nards.)

Or you could go to http://downforeveryoneorjustme.com/.

Down for everyone is awesome! I’m sure everyone in the world except me knows about it (case in point, and rather ironically, “Down for everyone” was down today when it was inundated with people trying to figure out if the entire world was Twitterless or not).

You plug in the website that you can’t seem to access and it tells you if the page is down for everyone, or if the interwebs has something against you personally. I wish I had known about it when I was trying to log into the Barclays site (I gave up and got an HSBC account instead – take THAT Baclays!) although I’m fairly certain that the interwebs were after me specifically that day.

Sigh. I don’t want to have to keep real blogging or going to the actual Facebook page to update my status. I wants me Twitter back. Which is funny when you consider I didn’t know what it was for when I started using it a year ago (or funnier when you consider I couldn’t tell you what it is for now).

*obviously don’t click on the Twitter link today, you twit. Twitter is down.

>NERD ALERT!: Only I would be happy about this

>I just made myself soooo happy that when this wee trick finally worked I actually got up and danced around. No joke.

I have my own domain name! Hooray!! I’m officially (and then some) on the Interwebs. HOORAY!

So, what does that mean in words that my moms will understand (she’s pretty Interwebs-savvy, but even she might not even get this one)?

I have my own Interwebs address.

That’s right. My own. I owned this here part of the the Interwebs and I intend to keep it, yo.

So from now on, if you want to find my blog (or you want to tell many, many others how to find my delicious and good-for-you blog) you just have to remember this:

http://www.turbotasticaltales.com

And that is all kinds of awesome, friends and neighbours. All freaking kinds. Woot!

>The 11 most unnecessary ‘How To’ guides on the web

>I didn’t take the time to write this article, so I’m happy that the good folks at http://www.cracked.com did. Check it out and see just how chuckalicious it is.

>Captain Turbotastic gives thanks (sort of) to Professor Green

>Brendan finds it necessary to send me news clippings every once in a while. I’m not sure why… perhaps he is worried that I don’t learn as much when I read articles in the form of electronic light instead of in the form of good old-fashion ink and paper. Whatever his motives, every once in a while I received an unmarked envelope that is filled with a potpourri of articles. Some of them I’m sure he has sent because he thinks I’ll be interested in them. Others I believe he sends because I should be interested in them.

When I told Brendan that I was thinking about blogging about some of my reactions to his articles, he insisted on getting kudos (or at least mention) for being the one to bring the articles to my attention in the first place.

So now we know Brendan’s real motive in sending those articles: Fame. He has always secretly hoped that I would write about his articles in my blog and that would herald his arrival on the interwebs scene, perhaps initiating some sort of new “Brendan Meme”.

Chump. No one reads my blog. If you want to see your name on the interwebs, start updating your own blog again. I’m tired of it sitting there, defunct and forgotten. Poor Brendan Blog.

Anyway, so there will be a few entries in the near future that are referencing articles. Yes, they will all be referring to the articles that dear, sweet Brendan has sent to me in order to brighten my day and make me just that little bit smarter. So here’s your mention, B. Don’t expect me to do it again.

>Yup, that’s pretty much how I remember it too

>I’ve seen Star Wars. All of them. I’m sure of it. But for some reason, I have trouble keeping the story straight in my head and remembering all the details (might have something to do with how delayed I am). So if I was forced at gunpoint to reconstruct the original trilogy, I hate to confess it would sound pretty much like this.

I probably shouldn’t confess to such a thing. Makes me less of a nerd than I like to pretend to be. The video above, however, is very very funny and kudos to the people who made it.