Tag Archives: ESL

Which Is True of Sue?

Lots of funny kids today. Started with John’s views on strength, and then Evan pulls this on me.

Evan really is a super funny kid. Today we were reading a passage in our TOEFL book about this 18 year old girl named Sue who protected her brothers during a class 4 tornado and what a hero she was… blah blah blah. One of the questions about the story was “According to the passage, which is true of Sue?”

The possible answers were:

A. She was not injured.
B. She was brave.
C. She was a volunteer.
D. She was a high school graduate.

Evan’s answer? “C, teacher. She was a volunteer. SHE VOLUNTEERED…. TO DIE.”

Something wrong with that kid. I love him.

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John Strikes Again

Thankfully, less fartastically this time. But still, nearly popped a blood vessel in my eye trying to keep from laughing.

So for whatever reason, Albert (he of the “I’d ask a jaguar why he’s black” fame) was flexing his biceps at me. The following conversation then took place:

Albert: Teacher, I am strong.
Me: You sure are! Look at that muscle!
John: Teacher, he is not strong.
Me: John, why would you say that?
John: Because he’s white.
Me: o.O

So it turns out that John’s full sentence should have been “He’s not strong because he only has a white belt in Tae Kwon Do”. Which is not quite the same as “because he’s white”.

Perhaps what is even funnier is how indignant Albert became after finding out that he was being athletically maligned instead of racially taunted. Turns out Albert has a black and red belt in Tae Kwon Do… he was proper insulted by being called a white belt. These boys!

Juicy Secrets

In one of my elementary classes today I was trying to flesh out the definition of “secret” by using an example.

So I say to the class, “Perhaps I know a secret about John….” and I pause and turn to said child for effect. The whole class falls silent and all faces turn towards John as they eagerly await to hear what possible juicy secret I may tell.

In the brief silence before I can make up an innocent secret about John to tell the class, the little turdburgler looks me right in the eye and, without altering his expression an iota, lifts a cheek and audibly lets rip a fart.

Teaching is so rewarding.

How Would the Jaguar Answer?

Daily journal topic: “What would it be like if animals could talk?”

Albert wrote that he would like to talk with a jaguar. Why? So he could ask it, “Why are you black?”

For teacher’s comments I was tempted to write “Oh my God, Albert. You can’t just ask jaguars why they’re black”, but I figured the Mean Girls reference would be lost on him so I didn’t bother.

More Famous Than JK Rowling

 

Everyone wants to be their own critic.

self proclaimed fame