Tag Archives: delayed

>I don’t want clever conversation…

>Brendan was here last weekend to visit and watch Ricky Gervais with me in Oxford.  Something happened on Sunday that accurately summarises our entire relationship. If you have ever had the dubious pleasure of hanging out with Brendan and I at the same time, you’ll understand this. If you haven’t had the pleasure… well, this is us:

We were walking from The Telegraph to The Green Man (both pubs, for those not in the know). Brendan was sick and sniffling. I was mildly sympathetic. We decided that we’d have just a half pint at The Green Man and then head home to watch a movie or something.

I turned to Brendan at this point and said, “You know, this is what I imagine being married to you would be like.”

He asked what I meant and I said, “Deciding at dinner time to have half a pint of ale at the local and then go home to fall asleep in front of the telly.”

“What would be wrong with that?” he asked and began to sing Billy Joel’s “Just the Way You Are”.

The exchange, taken on it’s own, might seem sort of sweet. But because it is Brendan and I, it dissolved into an argument about who Joel wrote the song for (Brendan thought it was for Christie Brinkley and I said it was for his first wife) and in the end we had to look it up to find out who was right. (It was for his first wife but her name was Elizabeth, not Linda).

Yup. B and I. In a freaking nutshell. From the beer to the thinly veiled insult to the singing to the argument (that I, of course, won). All we needed was Brendan to make a ridiculous pun and for me to tell him off for it.

Don’t imagine you’re too familiar
And I don’t see you anymore
I wouldn’t leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times
I’ll take you just the way you are 

Thanks for coming to London, Brendan. As always, it was the bestest thing ever to see you.

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As our species grows ever more delayed

>I found this little gem in the 12 January edition of The London Paper (one of the free papers you can find lying all over the Tube trains):

Cadbury issues milk warning

Chocolate maker cadbury is to print warnings on bars of milk chocolate saying “CONTAINS MILK” in order to alert customers who may be allergic.”

I didn’t realise that being lactose intolerate also made you fucking retarded. Live and learn, I suppose.

>Further immaturity

>At what age do normal people grow up? Because I’ve spent a good deal of this week manipulating an image of the world to show which countries we currently work in for a presentation. And I can’t help but notice how many countries look like wangs. Like Norway and Sweden, hanging out up at the top of Europe. Have a look at a map. Another good one is the southern-most… uh… tip (heh heh) of Brazil if you include Uraguay. I can’t believe how immature I can be sometimes.

Original Comments:

Ann Elin wrote (on 23/02/08):
Hey! Who`s country are you calling a wang? What is a wang anyway??

Jodi-Wan wrote (on 23/02/08):
Apparently it is a word that only I use meaning “penis”. 😛

Ann Elin wrote (on 24/02/08):
Oh good I thought it might be something offensive..

Brendan wrote (on 05/03/08):
Do you know that person or do they search the net randomly, looking to uphold the honour of their wangesque countries?!

What about Italy? A pretty deformed wang, I’ll grant you, but a wang all the same. Don’t give me this “boot” shit.

Jodi-Wan wrote (on 14/03/08):
I know that person! I met her and her family in Langkawi at Zach’s, Christmas (I didn’t say “Xmas” just for you, B) 2006. She’s a lovely person. She just happens to live in a wangish country.