Telling Time

So I’ve started studying math again. And you know what I’ve learned? I can’t tell time.

I did receive my “Linear Algebra for Dummies” book today… and right now I’m too much of a dummy to actually understand any of it. The fucking introduction made my eyes cross.

I’ve been brushing up my mad math skillZ on a website called Khan Academy, which I am hoping will be a huge help.  It is a truly fantastic site where you can study a whole bunch of things and get tested… for free. Mmmm… free school.

So I was cruising through the early stuff and feeling pretty good about myself, even though it is just addition and subtraction and the like. I mean: School was a long time ago. I’m proud of myself for remembering any of this stuff. I thought for sure I had permanently damaged those parts of my brain, coated as they would be in malted hops and bong resin.

So here’s me, all chuffed with my mathy, brainy self… and then it came to a set of exercises called “Telling Time”. And I thought to myself, “Surely they don’t just mean ‘telling time’. What kind of retard can’t tell time?'”

Um, I’m the kind of retard that can’t tell time.

I was worried that it would be the duration between two times, which I really do suck at calculating unless I can count on my fingers. I don’t know why. I have some sort of mental block about it.

Nope. It was just telling time on an analogue clock. And I fucking sucked at it.

It took me FOREVER to get through the exercise, because I kept fucking it up. It made me feel pretty stupid, I have to admit.

But the truth is – when was the last time I used an analogue clock? Well, I can’t figure out the duration between two times, so I can’t tell you. But I bet it was a fuck long time ago. Everything is digital now. So I’m out of practice.

I did pass the exercise eventually. But I would really hate to see TELLING TIME being a skill that I lose.

I think I need to buy a watch.

The last time I checked an analogue watch was the same time this movie came out.

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