Monthly Archives: October 2011

Telling Time

So I’ve started studying math again. And you know what I’ve learned? I can’t tell time.

I did receive my “Linear Algebra for Dummies” book today… and right now I’m too much of a dummy to actually understand any of it. The fucking introduction made my eyes cross.

I’ve been brushing up my mad math skillZ on a website called Khan Academy, which I am hoping will be a huge help.  It is a truly fantastic site where you can study a whole bunch of things and get tested… for free. Mmmm… free school.

So I was cruising through the early stuff and feeling pretty good about myself, even though it is just addition and subtraction and the like. I mean: School was a long time ago. I’m proud of myself for remembering any of this stuff. I thought for sure I had permanently damaged those parts of my brain, coated as they would be in malted hops and bong resin.

So here’s me, all chuffed with my mathy, brainy self… and then it came to a set of exercises called “Telling Time”. And I thought to myself, “Surely they don’t just mean ‘telling time’. What kind of retard can’t tell time?'”

Um, I’m the kind of retard that can’t tell time.

I was worried that it would be the duration between two times, which I really do suck at calculating unless I can count on my fingers. I don’t know why. I have some sort of mental block about it.

Nope. It was just telling time on an analogue clock. And I fucking sucked at it.

It took me FOREVER to get through the exercise, because I kept fucking it up. It made me feel pretty stupid, I have to admit.

But the truth is – when was the last time I used an analogue clock? Well, I can’t figure out the duration between two times, so I can’t tell you. But I bet it was a fuck long time ago. Everything is digital now. So I’m out of practice.

I did pass the exercise eventually. But I would really hate to see TELLING TIME being a skill that I lose.

I think I need to buy a watch.

The last time I checked an analogue watch was the same time this movie came out.

New adventures in skoolin


I worry about me sometimes.

I think I can do these things. I think I can, so I sign myself up. I’m ambitious, but not too bright. So I get in over my head.

I’ve signed up for a couple of courses that are being offered through Stanford University. If I complete them, I get a CERTIFICATE OF COMPLETION from Stanford University.


If I complete them.

I think both sound very interesting – one is an Introduction to Databases and the other is Machine Learning.

I’m a bit nervous that I’m in over my head, especially when it comes to the Machine Learning course. The prerequisite for the course is the ability to program “in any programming language”. I hope they will consider “none” as a language, because that’s the only one I can code in.

Sure, sure, I completed all the available lessons at Code Academy, but I think a dab of JavaScript may not be enough… especially since I had to go back into Code Academy to check which bloody language I had learned anything in. Yikes.

You can do the Machine Learning without actually doing the programming assignments, but I think that knowing how  might give the other students an advantage.

And if that wasn’t enough, the beginning of the course is about Linear Algebra. Something that I had to look up because I didn’t even know what it was. Yikes.

But I’m going to give it a go. I have ordered my “Linear Algebra for Dummies” book (NOT. EVEN. KIDDING.) and I’m going to watch the first of the course videos right now and TAKE NOTES.

I haven’t been in a class for 11 years. That’s right, you young’ins. I graduated from flipping university in 2000. GAH!


What am I even thinking?