Monthly Archives: July 2011

How’s my week been?

I’m going to tell a story to illustrate how my week has been going.

At work, the majority of us (read: everyone except the directors) have shit office chairs. You know the ones. Worth about £60 and the only thing you can adjust is the height (until the height adjuster thing breaks). But you can roll around. And you can swivel. Which are both good.

About a month ago someone stole my chair whilst I was off for the day. It even had my name on it. I haven’t bothered figuring out who the thieving bastard is. Hopefully they’ll get theirs one day. So I have been sitting on a shit meeting room chair (read: no adjustments, no swivelling, no rolling) for about a month.

Yesterday someone stole my even shitter chair after I left for the day. So when I came in, I had no shit chair, no shitter chair… no chair at all.

That’s a true story. And that’s how my week has been going. I hope your week (whoever you are) has been better.

Does a man wearing hair tonic and chewing gum suggest criminality, or are you drawn to his happy-go-lucky charm?

‘Well, it didn’t look like a two-horse town, but try finding a decent hair jelly.’

Hair tonic? HAIR TONIC? Who on the planet still calls it freaking “hair tonic”?


“Hair jelly” is WAY worse. Sick.


I actually looked up hair tonic so I knew what I was talking about. I figured it had to be different than any of the shizzle I use in my hair. It sounds awfully greasy.

Gah! Now all I can picture is this…

And that’s what is influencing my answer. The T-Birds from Grease. Fact. And even though they weren’t the nicest boys in most regards, it’s pretty harsh to call them ‘criminals’. They were pretty likable.

So I’m going to have to say I’d be drawn to his happy-go-lucky charm. And then I’d ask him to wash the freaking grease out of his hair.