My task list at work has been dwindling. I think I’m going to get fired sooner or later, but if they are going to passive about it, I’m going to be passive about it. Or at least, semi-passive. I’ve been looking for another job on the semi-sly but I haven’t quit (yet). If they are happy to pay me and not have me contribute, I’ll continue to go into work and sit there miserably not contributing. I’m okay with letting them sponsor my job search financially. I figure they owe me for turning me into this. Not doing anything worthwhile has been killing me. Apparently I’m not as lazy as I would like to think I am. Who knew?
One task I still have involves industry-related news. Whenever publications come in, I read them, scan the relevant articles and then email them out to the company with a brief summary. I actually don’t mind doing this – I know more about the industry we are in now than I ever did. The only downside to this chore is that less than 14.3% (an estimate) of people at our company bother to read the damned things. I know this because one week I put a "coupon" for a free coffee in amongst the articles to see who would find it. In just over three weeks, only three people came forward. Yowza. I send those things out to 25+ people.
But that isn’t my beef right now. I work with one particular guy who has never been a favourite of mine. He’s the passive-aggressive guy. And today it took everything I had not to snark his ass.
I sent out the last batch of articles Monday. Remember, they are about the industry we are in… and this P/A guy emails replies all with, "Is there any way we can search online for market specific info. Be great to know what’s happening in Belgium market before my trip tomorrow!"
Dick! I’m bloody sure it would be helpful, but I’m not your bitch. If you have a client meeting… how the sweaty hell do you NOT KNOW what is happening in the market already?!?
I was baffled. I was overcome with hatred. I was severely tempted to reply to all with "Try http://www.google.com. Ass." I resisted.
Later that morning I was cruising through my Google Reader gems (some of them are at least semi-work related. Some times.) when I came across http://www.letmegooglethatforyou.com. The timing on this could not have been perfect! You really ought to give this a try next time someone asks you to look something up for them. You go to the site and type in what you are looking for. It creates a URL. For example, if I typed in "Belgium markets" I would get http://letmegooglethatforyou.com/?q=belgium+markets which I could then send to the dillhole who is too stupid to Google their own shite. The result is a highly snarky and VERY satisfying animation of a mouse clicking into a Google search box, the automatic typing of (in this example) "Belgium markets" and then, as the mouse moves to the search button, it says "Was that so hard?" before redirecting to a Google search results page.
Although I think I’m going to get fired sooner or later anyway, I also resisted the urge to send P/A guy this link. But I still give thanks to the GeekGods that be for the joy this website brought to me today. Nothing like laughing your pants off to get over being angry at a retarded coworker. Sweet!