Controlled(ish) experiment deviation

I decided that I needed to deviate from the GSE for one night to gain a
more objective (or at least, as objective as possible seeing as how I
am the subject and the observer) perspective on how the Experiment was
going.

The thing is… I haven’t felt like I’ve been sleeping all that much
better. Maybe for more hours… maybe falling asleep faster… maybe
this, maybe that. But was I really? Was denying myself some of my
favourite things (beer, food) really worth getting 20 more minutes of
sleep a night and a bit more energy during the day? Energy that I just
put towards whining about work anyway?

So last night I had pizza for dinner. Cheap pizza, mind you, ’cause I’m
broke. But a frozen shitter from the Nisa Local for £2.49 is still
pizza. It still has a million things in and on it I shouldn’t eat. And
to ensure I wasn’t going half way with this control test, I ate it with
a Diet Coke and had a chocolate bar for desert.

It was delicious and I enjoyed every freaking bite.

First thing to note: I did notice that because it was three weeks since the last time I indulged in any
of those foods, I really did enjoy them. It was a real treat. That
alone may be worth eating better most of the time. I really shouldn’t
get to a point in my life where I’m going, "Ew, mom! Pizza for dinner
again??"  Although I would like to add that I received a flyer for a
pizza place that has cream cheese jalapenos. Next time I give in… I’m
giving them my business (if, naturally, I can afford freaking delivery
at that time, instead of counting my change to scrape together enough
to buy a frozen one…).

Second thing to note:  I slept like shite. Seriously shite. It was so
bad. I couldn’t stop tossing and turning. I was awake for hours. I
didn’t dream (that I remember). It was hard to wake up this morning.
I’m cranky today.

Possible EWTGSE (Experiment Within The Great Sleep Experiment)
pollutants: I may have slept like shite and been cranky today anyway –
unhappiness will do that to you.

But I’m thinking that overall I’m on the right track. I really am
sleeping better – I am much more relaxed before I sleep (no tossing and
turning); I’m falling asleep faster; I don’t get up in the night; I
have vivid dreams; I wake up more easily. All of that is good news and
does indicate that I should keep doing what I’m doing.

However… I may ease up a
little bit – I’ve been a real stickler for the "rules" I have created
in my own head, and I think I can let them relax now that I know. I
still want to stay off sugar, wheat and lactose as much as possible…
but more because that rule stops me from eating really bad food. Once
in a while as treats is okay.

And as much as it hurts my feelings, I’m going to keep waking up at
stupid o’clock every single day. I really do think that is helping.

Next month I’m going to add a few more things: drink more water,
meditation, stretching. Daily. Eventually I’ll get this sleeping thing
under control. Eventually. Sheesh… I’m a slow learner. I shoulda
learned how to sleep decades ago….

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