>I decided that I needed to deviate from the GSE for one night to gain a more objective (or at least, as objective as possible seeing as how I am the subject and the observer) perspective on how the Experiment was going.
The thing is… I haven’t felt like I’ve been sleeping all that much better. Maybe for more hours… maybe falling asleep faster… maybe this, maybe that. But was I really? Was denying myself some of my favourite things (beer, food) really worth getting 20 more minutes of sleep a night and a bit more energy during the day? Energy that I just put towards whining about work anyway?
So last night I had pizza for dinner. Cheap pizza, mind you, ’cause I’m broke. But a frozen shitter from the Nisa Local for £2.49 is still pizza. It still has a million things in and on it I shouldn’t eat. And to ensure I wasn’t going half way with this control test, I ate it with a Diet Coke and had a chocolate bar for desert.
It was delicious and I enjoyed every freaking bite.
First thing to note: I did notice that because it was three weeks since the last time I indulged in any of those foods, I really did enjoy them. It was a real treat. That alone may be worth eating better most of the time. I really shouldn’t get to a point in my life where I’m going, “Ew, mom! Pizza for dinner again??” Although I would like to add that I received a flyer for a pizza place that has cream cheese jalapenos. Next time I give in… I’m giving them my business (if, naturally, I can afford freaking delivery at that time, instead of counting my change to scrape together enough to buy a frozen one…).
Second thing to note: I slept like shite. Seriously shite. It was so bad. I couldn’t stop tossing and turning. I was awake for hours. I didn’t dream (that I remember). It was hard to wake up this morning. I’m cranky today.
Possible EWTGSE (Experiment Within The Great Sleep Experiment) pollutants: I may have slept like shite and been cranky today anyway – unhappiness will do that to you.
But I’m thinking that overall I’m on the right track. I really am sleeping better – I am much more relaxed before I sleep (no tossing and turning); I’m falling asleep faster; I don’t get up in the night; I have vivid dreams; I wake up more easily. All of that is good news and does indicate that I should keep doing what I’m doing.
However… I may ease up a little bit – I’ve been a real stickler for the “rules” I have created in my own head, and I think I can let them relax now that I know. I still want to stay off sugar, wheat and lactose as much as possible… but more because that rule stops me from eating really bad food. Once in a while as treats is okay.
And as much as it hurts my feelings, I’m going to keep waking up at stupid o’clock every single day. I really do think that is helping.
Next month I’m going to add a few more things: drink more water, meditation, stretching. Daily. Eventually I’ll get this sleeping thing under control. Eventually. Sheesh… I’m a slow learner. I shoulda learned how to sleep decades ago….