>The Great Sleep Experiment

>I tell lies.

I’ve always said that “I’ve tried EVERYTHING!” when it comes to getting a better night’s sleep. That is a slight exaggeration. A white lie that I tell so people won’t tell me to do things that I know won’t work (like taking valerian – valium doesn’t work with me, alright?). You tell people that you have difficulty sleeping, and all of a sudden, everyone is a fucking doctor.

Ahem. Rant aside, there are a few things that I haven’t tried because frankly I find the idea of them distasteful. But I’ve grown sick and tired (ha ha) of not sleeping, so I’m willing to finally give them a go. Here they are:

1. Give up food to which I may have a sensitivity. Bye-bye wheat, sugar, dairy.
2. Get up at the same time (7am) every day. Apparently “every day” includes the weekend. *sob*
3. Eat breakfast every day.
4. Get sunlight in the morning (Meaning “go outside”. In the morning.).

There are a few more things that I’ll add to the list as I go along, but for October this regiment sounds painful freaking enough. If I start feeling better though, I’ll start a few more things to see if I can become the greatest sleeper that ever lived.

Original Comments:

Carey wrote (on 03/10/08):

Dr. Carey reporting for duty…

The four things you listed are great and important. But 3 of them have to do with your morning routine. It is also important to have an evening routine, to signal your body it is time to go to sleep. For example, if you want to be falling asleep at 11pm, then at 10pm you start your night time routine. Start turning off and dimming lights slowly over the next hour rather than just switch them all off at once. No tv or internet but the lights from the screens stimulate your brain. Put on some good soothing music instead. Do all your pre bedtime stuffs, brush teeth, wash face… have a hot shower. The heat relaxes you. And the same as getting up at the same time everyday, go to bed at the same time everyday. Even if you are not tired, you can lie there, relax and just dream about your next big adventure.

And if that doesn’t work, there is alway whisky.

I don’t have to worry about waking up in the morning. The Kesey Cat 2000 Intergrated Alarm system is all I need. Apparently, there is a plastic bag under my bed that is very entertaining at 5:30am. When the Kesey Cat 2000 gets bored with the plastic bag, it proceeds to chew his toe nails at the end of the bed. If I hit snooze more than three times, the Kesey Cat 2000 is programmed to bite my head. With the advancements in cloning, YOU TOO can have a Kesey Cat 2000!

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