Monthly Archives: May 2008

>Sleepy

>

I’m definitely wearing down this week. Between not eating and being angry at work: I’m tired. Last night I went to bed at 7:30, slept almost completely through the night, and woke up exhausted.

Thankfully, tomorrow is payday.

Thankfully, tomorrow is a half-day.
Thankfully, tomorrow is also Friday.

I just have to make it through today and I can relax for 2.5 days. And I plan to!

Sleepy

 
I’m definitely wearing down this week. Between not eating and being angry at work: I’m tired.  Last night I went to bed at 7:30, slept almost completely through the night, and woke up exhausted.
Thankfully, tomorrow is payday.
Thankfully, tomorrow is a half-day.
Thankfully, tomorrow is also Friday.
 
I just have to make it through today and I can relax for 2.5 days. And I plan to!
 

>Something I will forever hate about work

>

Most days, I like what I do for work. Mostly I get to write and make things look pretty. And overall, I do it better than anyone else around here, so I get to feel good about my work. But then there are days, like today, when the entire world is lucky that I’m not armed.

I can put up with a lot. I try to not be an angry person, and my tolerance for things has grown significantly. But there are three things that people can do that are guaranteed to piss me off:

  1. be sincerely rude to me when it is uncalled for (only when uncalled for, because sometimes I deserve it)
  2. embarrass me intentionally (by accident doesn’t make me happy, but I forgive it)
  3. inhibit me from doing my job effectively because they are idiots
These are my “unforgivables”. Especially the second one… if you embarrass me intentionally you get one warning (usually along the lines of, “I don’t find that funny and if you do it again, we won’t be friends anymore”, something that I have actually said) and then after that we’re through. Usually one and three have mitigating circumstances and I can usually recover… but not always depending on the severity of the offence.

Guess which of the three is pissing me off at work? WHY CAN’T PEOPLE JUST DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS PROPERLY? I swear, some days I would fire half of the people in here. Normally I wouldn’t care that they are as useless as braille on a drive-through ATM (it would still annoy me, but not to this extent), except their ineptitude this week is creating extra stress and work for me. Inconsiderate assholes.

Oh wow, I’m mad.

Something I Will Forever Hate about Work

 
Most days, I like what I do for work. Mostly I get to write and make things look pretty. And overall, I do it better than anyone else around here, so I get to feel good about my work.  But then there are days, like today, when the entire world is lucky that I’m not armed.
 
I can put up with a lot. I try to not be an angry person, and my tolerance for things has grown significantly. But there are three things that people can do that are guaranteed to piss me off:
 
1. be sincerely rude to me when it is uncalled for (only when uncalled for, because sometimes I deserve it)
2. embarrass me intentionally (by accident doesn’t make me happy, but I forgive it)
3. inhibit me from doing my job effectively because they are idiots
 
These are my "unforgivables". Especially the second one… if you embarrass me intentionally you get one warning (usually along the lines of, "I don’t find that funny and if you do it again, we won’t be friends anymore", something that I have actually said) and then after that we’re through. Usually one and three have migating circumstances and I can usually recover… but not always depending on the severity of the offence.
 
Guess which of the three is pissing me off at work?  WHY CAN’T PEOPLE JUST DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS PROPERLY?  I swear, some days I would fire half of the people in here. Normally I wouldn’t care that they are as useless as braille on a drive-through ATM (it would still annoy me, but not to this extent), except their ineptitude this week is creating extra stress and work for me. Inconsiderate assholes.
 
Oh wow, I’m mad.

>Survival

>

I read an interesting story on the internet recently about how one approaches life. Essentially, the article came down to how you would answer this question:

Are you living your life, or surviving it?

I’ve been thinking about this. Most days… on a day-by-day basis I mean, I feel like I’m simply surviving life. I don’t feel like I have any forward direction and I get so easily frustrated that this can’t be the life I’m meant to live. Thanks to my money situation (or “lack of money situation”… if only I could lose pounds from my arse as easily as I do my bank account – HA!) I haven’t been able to fill my leisure time with the kinds of activities I would like. I feel like a slave to work and exercise. I hate performing maintenance – whether that is housework or bodywork. Each day just seems to slip by, and if I’ve made it through to the end without hurting myself or anyone else, I consider that day a success.

The idea that I’m merely surviving life doesn’t fill me with joy and happiness. Surely there is more to it than that?

And you know what? There is.

First, if I look at my life as a whole, instead of the bullshit that might have happened just today, I really do live my life. Sure there are periods of inertia… sorrow… boredom… but they are punctuated with periods of excitement, growth, happiness, friendship, laughter and love. I feel like I’ve lived a life that can’t be rightly described as ordinary. I’ve been through a lot of things that others haven’t (and haven’t experienced a lot that others have, to be fair). I’ve had a varied work history (to say the least). I’m pretty lucky in that I’m now doing a job for which I have no education and no experience that actually does have cool parts to it (like writing and the opportunity to travel). I’ve been to more than 20 countries (and ones that most people don’t ever visit… mainly those in Asia). I’ve lived in three major cities on three different continents. Even right now, I live in flipping London. How did that happen? And in a city where housing is so expensive that people are willing to live three or more in a single room, I have my own flat (and the rent ain’t too bad). I’ve met the greatest people and have been fortunate enough to have them as friends (suckers!). My work, my travel, and my friends have helped me grow and change in ways that I couldn’t have imagined even five years ago.

Even my day-to-day life isn’t all survival, if I take a moment to breathe and really reflect on what’s happening. Like today, a fairly average day and in a bad mood what I would consider just a “survived that” kind of day. I went running twice today – and I’m grateful that I am healthy enough to do that. My boss told me I was amazing for a job that I completed before she could even assign it to me (I am rather amazing). I had some laughs with the people I work with – who are a pretty cool bunch considering we didn’t get to choose to work with each other. I got to eat cookies (there’s a tin of them at work… and thank goodness for that because until payday, I’m treating the cookie tin like my own personal lunchbox). I didn’t get rained on after work when I went for my run… a run which takes me through a four-hundred year old graveyard, along the Thames and past Bishops’ Palace (not many people can say that). I had a full lunch break today and left right at six o’clock. I got to talk to my moms which always makes me feel better. I have a roof over my head. I don’t commute. And although I’m getting sick of rice, I did eat today and that’s not something everyone can say. And there is free coffee at work (and not shitty Korea-machine coffee, either). I’ve also been fortunate enough to listen to cool tunes all day.

So I guess all-in-all, I am living life, not just surviving it. And I think it is mostly perspective. If you are going to just look at life like a chore you have to complete, it sure as hell is going to feel that way. Instead, each day should feel like a gift and a reward in and of itself. And I for one need to work on remembering that. Because when I do, I’m insanely happy and all is good.

>What makes me happy

>

It makes me happy when Carey leaves me comments, even if it is to share her hatred of me (I know KoL is evil… that’s why I shared it with you!). It makes me happy because I know someone is reading my blog.

Then again, it also makes me feel guilty, because I realise that I should blog more instead of playing KoL.

Original Comments:

Carey wrote (on 28/05/08):
I am a level four Gecko Supervisor now… My next challenge is to defeat the Bat Boss when I sober up.

Survival

 
I read an interesting story on the internet recently about how one approaches life. Essentially, the article came down to how you would answer this question:
 
Are you living your life, or surviving it?
 
I’ve been thinking about this. Most days… on a day-by-day basis I mean, I feel like I’m simply surviving life. I don’t feel like I have any forward direction and I get so easily frustrated that this can’t be the life I’m meant to live. Thanks to my money situation (or "lack of money situation"… if only I could lose pounds from my arse as easily as I do my bank account – HA!) I haven’t been able to fill my leisure time with the kinds of activities I would like. I feel like a slave to work and exercise. I hate performing maintenance – whether that is housework or bodywork. Each day just seems to slip by, and if I’ve made it through to the end without hurting myself or anyone else, I consider that day a success.
The idea that I’m merely surviving life doesn’t fill me with joy and happiness. Surely there is more to it than that?
 
And you know what? There is.
 
First, if I look at my life as a whole, instead of the bullshit that might have happened just today, I really do live my life. Sure there are periods of inertia… sorrow… boredom… but they are punctuated with periods of excitment, growth, happiness, friendship, laughter and love. I feel like I’ve lived a life that can’t be rightly described as ordinary. I’ve been through a lot of things that others haven’t (and haven’t experienced a lot that others have, to be fair).  I’ve had a varied work history (to say the least).  I’m pretty lucky in that I’m now doing a job for which I have no education and no experience that actually does have cool parts to it (like writing and the opportunity to travel). I’ve been to more than 20 countries (and ones that most people don’t ever visit… mainly those in Asia). I’ve lived in three major cities on three different continents. Even right now, I live in flipping London. How did that happen? And in a city where housing is so expensive that people are willing to live three or more in a single room, I have my own flat (and the rent ain’t too bad). I’ve met the greatest people and have been fortunate enough to have them as friends (suckers!). My work, my travel, and my friends have helped me grow and change in ways that I couldn’t have imagined even five years ago.
 
Even my day-to-day life isn’t all survival, if I take a moment to breathe and really reflect on what’s happening. Like today, a fairly average day and in a bad mood what I would consider just a "survived that" kind of day.  I went running twice today – and I’m grateful that I am healthy enough to do that. My boss told me I was amazing for a job that I completed before she could even assign it to me (I am rather amazing). I had some laughs with the people I work with – who are a pretty cool bunch considering we didn’t get to choose to work with each other. I got to eat cookies (there’s a tin of them at work… and thank goodness for that because until payday, I’m treating the cookie tin like my own personal lunchbox).  I didn’t get rained on after work when I went for my run… a run which takes me through a four-hundred year old graveyard, along the Thames and past Bishops’ Palace (not many people can say that). I had a full lunch break today and left right at six o’clock. I got to talk to my moms which always makes me feel better. I have a roof over my head.  I don’t commute. And although I’m getting sick of rice, I did eat today and that’s not something everyone can say. And there is free coffee at work (and not shittty Korea-machine coffee, either). I’ve also been fortunate enough to listen to cool tunes all day.
 
So I guess all-in-all, I am living life, not just surviving it. And I think it is mostly perspective. If you are going to just look at life like a chore you have to complete, it sure as hell is going to feel that way.  Instead, each day should feel like a gift and a reward in and of itself. And I for one need to work on remembering that. Because when I do, I’m insanely happy and all is good.

What Makes Me Happy

 
It makes me happy when Carey leaves me comments, even if it is to share her hatred of me (I know KoL is evil… that’s why I shared it with you!).  It makes me happy because I know someone is reading my blog.
Then again, it also makes me feel guilty, because I realise that I should blog more instead of playing KoL.

>Time saver, time waster

>

It has been a very long time since there has been anything online to really catch my attention. But lately I’ve come across two.

The first, Digsby, rules. It is another messenger program but this one does neat tricks. In the one window, I have access to all my IM contacts – MSN, Yahoo, Googlemail and even Facebook. All in one window. It not only tells me which of my contacts are online for any of those accounts, it also tells me when I have new messages. Sweetness.

The second, The Kingdom of Loathing, has eaten into my home time drastically. It is a turn-based game online where you kill monsters and such, but it is so ridiculous and so funny that I’ve been playing it a wee bit too much. The art is horrible, the storylines make little sense, but the sarcasm and humour more than makes up for it. It is just a good thing that there is a cap on how many turns you can play each day….

Original Comments:

Carey wrote (on 26/05/08):
KoL = I hate you. Thank GOD we didn’t find that the same time we found Neopets, we’d be fucked.

Time Saver, Time Waster

 
It has been a very long time since there has been anything online to really catch my attention. But lately I’ve come across two.
The first, Digsby, rules. It is another messenger program but this one does neat tricks. In the one window, I have access to all my IM contacts – MSN, Yahoo, Googlemail and even Facebook.  All in one window. It not only tells me which of my contacts are online for any of those accounts, it also tells me when I have new messages. Sweetness.
 
The second, The Kingdom of Loathing, has eaten into my home time drastically. It is a turn-based game online where you kill monsters and such, but it is so ridiculous and so funny that I’ve been playing it a wee bit too much. The art is horrible, the storylines make little sense, but the sarcasm and humour more than makes up for it. It is just a good thing that there is a cap on how many turns you can play each day….