>Cursed Parts 3 and 4

>The last “Cursed” entry only warranted a half rating but now I’m happy to let you know about Parts 3 and 4. No, I don’t even have more dates. These guys rocked on to the Cursed list just by being interested.

Why do I attract bozos like this? Why? I’m not even granting these yahoos “Buddy” status, because I will never, ever meet them in person. It isn’t even worth it for the blog, sorry guys. Seriously. Not. Worth. It.

On Match, people can “wink” at you or send you emails through the website. This is something I actually appreciate a lot and part of the reason I’m doing this. I’m really dumb when it comes to sussing out whether or not boys like me. I just figure they are being friendly. It isn’t that I think I’m completely unattractive or not worthy or some unhappy shite like that, I’m just not very smart about boys in general. Couple that with boys not being very smart about girls, and I’m left in the dark all the freaking time. Happily, I don’t have to analyse anything on match, if they wink or the email, then they are at least somewhat interested. If I wink or email back and I never hear from them again, they aren’t. Easy. I swear this shite was set up just for dumbasses like me.

But sometimes I get emails I could do without. Like from this one guy that I couldn’t be less interested in. First, he emailed me back at the end of January in response to the Nietzsche quote I had on my profile. His email went like this:

Subject: What does not kill me, makes me stronger! Freidrich Nietzsche
Message: And if you wink back at me and your PC doesnt explode you therefore must get stronger which is a good thing 🙂

Wha? His black and white profile picture… well, friends, he looks like George Costanza from Seinfeld, and not in a good way. I ignore him.


He emails me AGAIN on the 20th of February with this happy crappy:

Subject: How comes you are interested in white Russians?
Message: Are there any red ones left these days 🙂

First of all, pal, I can’t handle your grammar for a bald dude with glasses and where’s the punctuation on your question, ass? But, because I’m a nice person (HA!) I responded to this email. I wrote back:

I like White Russians because they are tasty. The Kailua is probably not good for me though.

That’s it. That’s all I had to say. I thought I was being a bit snarky, actually. Uncalled for, perhaps. But I felt as though Costanza provoked me with his poor grammar and punctuation. Can you believe he actually wrote me back? Keep in mind, please, the short and snappy little message I zinged back. This is what he writes:

For some complete weird reason I thought you were referring to pre tsarist Russian history not cocktails through they can be fun too J

So how are you finding London, I’ve been to a small town in Canada called Barrie, Ontario but that was a bit of disaster (involved intensive care and getting to know the Canadian legal system well but don’t worry I wasn’t the one doing anything wrong, can tell you more of a coffee if you want). I’ve travelled quite a bit visiting friends online but not of a while. The last place I went to was Rostov-on-Don in Russia (internet buddy) but I would still like to see more of Moscow (seen the airport) and St Petersburg.

I have to admit I really do like your profile, you sound very clever but a little ‘wild’. Well done in eating the scorpion in China I was offered a widgity grub in Australia but I chickened out alas. Slugs just aren’t meant to be eaten and the Aboriginees seem to prefer Mcdonalds these days anyway

Anyway how you write soon

AURGHPANTS! WHY ME?!? Now, although he did pretty much hit the nail on the head with “clever but a little ‘wild'” (although I don’t know what the quotations are for – “wild” in what way? What is Costanza thinking? EW EW EW!)

I’m not writing him back again. You want to know the number one reason? It isn’t, believe it or not, his poor grammar or bald head (although those things are not helping). It is because his profile name is “draculathecat”. I don’t want to even know why. The answer is no.

Which brings me to our next contestant: This guy nearly made me laugh out loud. Seriously. His handle is “pudk555” which means less than nothing to me. Have a read of his stellar email to me and just leave a guess in the comments as to why he is Cursed Part 4. Where do these people come from?

Hello,

I hope you are fine! you will find lot of things common in our profile I am among the top line Engineer’s in U.K I am ready to compromise anything for you …you are my dream in reality………

I am the man with most of the things like
Education

Good job

Status

Honesty

Love from Deep Heart

And same Dreams like you

Lets become part of beautiful life waiting for your reply

Waiting for you reply

Keep waiting, pal, it ain’t gonna happen. Sigh.

Original Comments:

Brendan wrote (on 05/03/08):
Cursed Part 4 is like something you’d read on a Korean greeting card!

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