Monthly Archives: February 2008

Friday's Feast

 
Life’s pretty dull if I’m able to do the Friday’s Feast at home. On a Friday night. Sigh.  S’okay though, I have party plans for tomorrow. Whoo-hoo!
 

Appetizer

Who was the last person you hugged?

On Tuesday I hugged my boss goodbye. She’s off for nearly three weeks to get married and go on her honeymoon. The last time I hugged someone was Tuesday? And it was MY FREAKING BOSS??  I just made myself sad about my own life.

Soup

Share a beauty or grooming trick or tip with us.

If you have short hair you can go to work without washing it and people will think that your bedhead hair is intentional and funky.

Salad

What does the color yellow make you think of?

It doesn’t make me think of anything in particular (unless I *force* myself to think of something, and then I think of bananas, the sun, urine, the walls in my studio place in Kamloops…) but it makes me feel warm and a little bit happy. Happier than the thought that my last hug was on Tuesday. With my boss. *Sob*

Main Course

If you were to make your living as a photographer, what subject would your pictures revolve around?

Things, not people. If you ever look at my photos, you’ll notice I don’t take a lot of pictures of people. In fact, a lot of my shots are angled up, so I don’t have people in pictures of buildings. I also like to take very close-up pictures to capture the details of things.

Dessert

What was the longest book you ever read?

WAR AND PEACE.  Why does this stupid book continue to haunt me? WHY WHY WHY??

>Cursed Parts 3 and 4

>The last “Cursed” entry only warranted a half rating but now I’m happy to let you know about Parts 3 and 4. No, I don’t even have more dates. These guys rocked on to the Cursed list just by being interested.

Why do I attract bozos like this? Why? I’m not even granting these yahoos “Buddy” status, because I will never, ever meet them in person. It isn’t even worth it for the blog, sorry guys. Seriously. Not. Worth. It.

On Match, people can “wink” at you or send you emails through the website. This is something I actually appreciate a lot and part of the reason I’m doing this. I’m really dumb when it comes to sussing out whether or not boys like me. I just figure they are being friendly. It isn’t that I think I’m completely unattractive or not worthy or some unhappy shite like that, I’m just not very smart about boys in general. Couple that with boys not being very smart about girls, and I’m left in the dark all the freaking time. Happily, I don’t have to analyse anything on match, if they wink or the email, then they are at least somewhat interested. If I wink or email back and I never hear from them again, they aren’t. Easy. I swear this shite was set up just for dumbasses like me.

But sometimes I get emails I could do without. Like from this one guy that I couldn’t be less interested in. First, he emailed me back at the end of January in response to the Nietzsche quote I had on my profile. His email went like this:

Subject: What does not kill me, makes me stronger! Freidrich Nietzsche
Message: And if you wink back at me and your PC doesnt explode you therefore must get stronger which is a good thing 🙂

Wha? His black and white profile picture… well, friends, he looks like George Costanza from Seinfeld, and not in a good way. I ignore him.


He emails me AGAIN on the 20th of February with this happy crappy:

Subject: How comes you are interested in white Russians?
Message: Are there any red ones left these days 🙂

First of all, pal, I can’t handle your grammar for a bald dude with glasses and where’s the punctuation on your question, ass? But, because I’m a nice person (HA!) I responded to this email. I wrote back:

I like White Russians because they are tasty. The Kailua is probably not good for me though.

That’s it. That’s all I had to say. I thought I was being a bit snarky, actually. Uncalled for, perhaps. But I felt as though Costanza provoked me with his poor grammar and punctuation. Can you believe he actually wrote me back? Keep in mind, please, the short and snappy little message I zinged back. This is what he writes:

For some complete weird reason I thought you were referring to pre tsarist Russian history not cocktails through they can be fun too J

So how are you finding London, I’ve been to a small town in Canada called Barrie, Ontario but that was a bit of disaster (involved intensive care and getting to know the Canadian legal system well but don’t worry I wasn’t the one doing anything wrong, can tell you more of a coffee if you want). I’ve travelled quite a bit visiting friends online but not of a while. The last place I went to was Rostov-on-Don in Russia (internet buddy) but I would still like to see more of Moscow (seen the airport) and St Petersburg.

I have to admit I really do like your profile, you sound very clever but a little ‘wild’. Well done in eating the scorpion in China I was offered a widgity grub in Australia but I chickened out alas. Slugs just aren’t meant to be eaten and the Aboriginees seem to prefer Mcdonalds these days anyway

Anyway how you write soon

AURGHPANTS! WHY ME?!? Now, although he did pretty much hit the nail on the head with “clever but a little ‘wild'” (although I don’t know what the quotations are for – “wild” in what way? What is Costanza thinking? EW EW EW!)

I’m not writing him back again. You want to know the number one reason? It isn’t, believe it or not, his poor grammar or bald head (although those things are not helping). It is because his profile name is “draculathecat”. I don’t want to even know why. The answer is no.

Which brings me to our next contestant: This guy nearly made me laugh out loud. Seriously. His handle is “pudk555” which means less than nothing to me. Have a read of his stellar email to me and just leave a guess in the comments as to why he is Cursed Part 4. Where do these people come from?

Hello,

I hope you are fine! you will find lot of things common in our profile I am among the top line Engineer’s in U.K I am ready to compromise anything for you …you are my dream in reality………

I am the man with most of the things like
Education

Good job

Status

Honesty

Love from Deep Heart

And same Dreams like you

Lets become part of beautiful life waiting for your reply

Waiting for you reply

Keep waiting, pal, it ain’t gonna happen. Sigh.

Original Comments:

Brendan wrote (on 05/03/08):
Cursed Part 4 is like something you’d read on a Korean greeting card!

Cursed Parts 3 and 4

 

The last "Cursed" entry only warranted a half rating but now I’m happy to let you know about Parts 3 and 4. No, I don’t even have more dates. These guys rocked on to the Cursed list just by being interested.


Why do I attract bozos like this? Why?  I’m not even granting these yahoos "Buddy" status, because I will never, ever meet them in person. It isn’t even worth it for the blog, sorry guys. Seriously. Not. Worth. It.

 

On Match, people can "wink" at you or send you emails through the website. This is something I actually appreciate a lot and part of the reason I’m doing this. I’m really dumb when it comes to sussing out whether or not boys like me. I just figure they are being friendly.  It isn’t that I think I’m completely unattractive or not worthy or some unhappy shite like that, I’m just not very smart about boys in general. Couple that with boys not being very smart about girls, and I’m left in the dark all the freaking time. Happily, I don’t have to analyse anything on match, if they wink or the email, then they are at least somewhat interested. If I wink or email back and I never hear from them again, they aren’t. Easy. I swear this shite was set up just for dumbasses like me.

 

But sometimes I get emails I could do without.  Like from this one guy that I couldn’t be less interested in. First, he emailed me back at the end of January in response to the Nietzsche quote I had on my profile.  His email went like this:

 

Subject: What does not kill me, makes me stronger!  Freidrich Nietzsche

 

Message: And if you wink back at me and your PC doesnt explode you therefore must get stronger which is a good thing 🙂

 

Wha?  His black and white profile picture… well, friends, he looks like George Costanza from Seinfeld, and not in a good way. I ignore him.

 

He emails me AGAIN on the 20th of February with this happy crappy:

 

Subject: How comes you are interested in white Russians?

 

Message: Are there any red ones left these days 🙂

 

First of all, pal, I can’t handle your grammar for a bald dude with glasses and where’s the punctuation on your question, ass?  But, because I’m a nice person (HA!) I responded to this email. I wrote back:

 

I like White Russians because they are tasty. The Kailua is probably not good for me though.

 

That’s it. That’s all I had to say. I thought I was being a bit snarky, actually. Uncalled for, perhaps. But I felt as though Costanza provoked me with his poor grammar and punctuation.  Can you believe he actually wrote me back?  Keep in mind, please, the short and snappy little message I zinged back. This is what he writes:

 

For some complete weird reason I thought you were referring to pre tsarist Russian history not cocktails through they can be fun too J

 

So how are you finding London, I’ve been to a small town in Canada called Barrie, Ontario  but that was a bit of disaster (involved intensive care and getting to know the Canadian legal system well but don’t worry I wasn’t the one doing anything wrong, can tell you more of a coffee if you want). I’ve travelled quite a bit visiting friends online but not of a while. The last place I went to was Rostov-on-Don in Russia (internet buddy) but I would still like to see more of Moscow (seen the airport) and St Petersburg.

I have to admit I really do like your profile, you sound very clever but a little ‘wild’. Well done in eating the scorpion in China I was offered a widgity grub in Australia but I chickened out alas. Slugs just aren’t meant to be eaten and the Aboriginees seem to prefer Mcdonalds these days anyway

Anyway how you write soon

 

AURGHPANTS! WHY ME?!? Now, although he did pretty much hit the nail on the head with "clever but a little ‘wild’" (although I don’t know what the quotations are for – "wild" in what way? What is Costanza thinking? EW EW EW!)

I’m not writing him back again. You want to know the number one reason? It isn’t, believe it or not, his poor grammar or bald head (although those things are not helping). It is because his profile name is "draculathecat". I don’t want to even know why. The answer is no.

 Which brings me to our next contestant: This guy nearly made me laugh out loud. Seriously. His handle is "pudk555" which means less than nothing to me. Have a read of his stellar email to me and just leave a guess in the comments as to why he is Cursed Part 4. Where do these people come from?

 Hello,

I hope you are fine! you will find lot of things common in our profile I am among the top line Engineer’s in U.K I am ready to compromise anything for you …you are my dream in reality…………
I am the man with most of the things like
Education
Good job
Status
Honesty
Love from Deep Heart
And same Dreams like you
Lets become part of beautiful life waiting for your reply

Waiting for you reply

 

Keep waiting, pal, it ain’t gonna happen. Sigh.

 

>Double Friday Feasts

>

The site was down last week but now there are two Feasts up. I’m so generous I’ll do them both… just for you. With love.

Appetizer

Name one thing that is unique about you.

I don’t think that there is anything particularly unique about me. I agree with Palaniuk: “You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world.” I didn’t bother to look that up, by the way, so it might not be 100% accurate. Besides, “unique” is a word that gets thrown around too much. We say “unique” when we mean “unusual”, it should mean “only one like it”. So I might be a little unusual, but overall I would consider myself absolutely ordinary in the larger scheme of things.

Soup

Fill in the blank: My favorite _________ is __________ but I like _________ too.

My favourite weather is sunny but I like rain too.

Salad

What type of wood do you have for your home’s furnishings?

Heh, heh. Wood. Seriously, I think everything in here is made from cardboard.

Main Course

Who do you talk to most often on the phone?

Easily my boss… when she’s out of the office she calls me at least 17 times in the day.

Dessert

What level of responsibility do you have in your job?

Pretty high, actually. I have access to the company credit card and everything.


Appetizer

Have you ever played a practical joke on anyone? If so, what did you do and who was your victim?

I definitely have, but specifics do not come to mind.

Soup

What do your salt and pepper shakers look like?

I don’t have salt and pepper shakers.

Salad

Where is the next place you plan to visit (on vacation or business)?

I might go back to Scotland, although I’ve also been thinking about checking out Wales.

Main Course

What kind of lotion or cream do you use to keep your hands from getting too dry?

I have hand cream in my drawer at work. Am I suppose to remember which brand?

Dessert

Make up a dessert, tell us its ingredients, and give it a name.

I don’t want to make one up. I’m just going to go and eat a cookie instead.

Double Friday Feasts

 
The site was down last week but now there are two Feasts up. I’m so generous I’ll do them both… just for you. With love.
 
 

Appetizer

Name one thing that is unique about you.

I don’t think that there is anything particularly unique about me. I agree with Palaniuk: "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world."  I didn’t bother to look that up, by the way, so it might not be 100% accurate. Besides, "unique" is a word that gets thrown around too much. We say "unique" when we mean "unusual", it should mean "only one like it". So I might be a little unusual, but overall I would consider myself absolutely ordinary in the larger scheme of things.

Soup

Fill in the blank: My favorite _________ is __________ but I like _________ too.

My favourite weather is sunny but I like rain too.

Salad

What type of wood do you have for your home’s furnishings?

Heh, heh. Wood.  Seriously, I think everything in here is made from cardboard.

Main Course

Who do you talk to most often on the phone?

Easily my boss… when she’s out of the office she calls me at least 17 times in the day.

Dessert

What level of responsibility do you have in your job?

Pretty high, actually. I have access to the company credit card and everything.

 

 

Appetizer

Have you ever played a practical joke on anyone?  If so, what did you do and who was your victim?

I definitely have, but specifics do not come to mind.

Soup

What do your salt and pepper shakers look like?

I don’t have salt and pepper shakers.

Salad

Where is the next place you plan to visit (on vacation or business)?

I might go back to Scotland, although I’ve also been thinking about checking out Wales.

Main Course

What kind of lotion or cream do you use to keep your hands from getting too dry?

I have hand cream in my drawer at work. Am I suppose to remember which brand?

Dessert 

Make up a dessert, tell us its ingredients, and give it a name.

I don’t want to make one up. I’m just going to go and eat a cookie instead.

>Cursed – Part Deux Point Five

>I’m not calling this “Cursed Part Three” as the date on Saturday didn’t go all that badly. You know, considering.

First, I took it as a bad sign that I wasn’t excited or nervous all day on Saturday. I puttered around the house, goofed off, played guitar, and finally realised late in the day that I might want to shower and stuff. So I finally did that and left at the last possible minute. I was still on time… but I’m usually early.

I couldn’t find the exact street Buddy2 told me to meet at, as the area around Charing Cross Road is busy. But I sent him a text message telling him exactly where I was and he came and got me. Which is a good start – at least he wasn’t late like the last guy. And he’s pretty cute, also not like the last guy.

Through gesture and a notepad, we headed to a restaurant in Chinatown. Communicating with Buddy2 wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn’t as easy as just being able to speak to someone. We went to a very good restaurant with fantastic dim sum, which I love. We “chatted” throughout the meal using a notepad. I’ve learned some sign language already. He’s already learned my facial gesture for “huh?”

Although he couldn’t speak, he was very kind and pretty funny. One thing I can share is this: I don’t know how we got on the subject (no, really, it isn’t as though we were “talking” about it!) that things in the USA and the UK are spelled differently (although I think it came about from both of us being horrible spellers). I was listing some of them; colour/color, cheque/check, neighbour/neighbor, doughnut/donut… and he added Blair/Bush. Which is pretty funny. In fact, I might use that one some day.

After dinner we walked to a pub and had a pint and continued writing out our conversations. Walked to the train station and said goodnight.

There are some minor red flags with this guy: he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t eat spicy food, he doesn’t know how awesome Radiohead is. He also makes me feel bad about myself because I do think that if he wasn’t deaf I would be more interested. But I can’t really imagine, I don’t know, like… getting married and stuff because it is too hard to be witty and/or sarcastic and/or cynical when you have to write everything down. Even if he learns to read lips, I’ll have to learn to speak slowly. I’ll never get to chat with him about stupid stuff after lights out. I’ll never be able to argue how Travis is a much better band than Coldplay musically even if Coldplay is doing better commercially. Although he’d be the one guy who wouldn’t have anything smart-ass to say about my guitar playing.

For now, I’m leaving it like this: I’ve agreed to see him again, and I’m trying to be open-minded. But I’m pretty good about sussing dudes out right away and in the end I think that beyond him not being able to hear the melodious sound of my voice (shut up, Brendan), I don’t know if he and I have enough in common.

In the meantime, there are a few other Buddys waiting for me to email them back. Out of the three, at least 2.5 of them may be wankers, and apparently 2 of them definitely are.

I’m such an ass. I probably deserve to be cursed…


Original Comments:


Brendan wrote (on 05/03/08):

You do deserve to be cursed.
How do you know when I’m thinking a smart comment?! You’re nearly always spot on.
You do talk a lot after lights out. It’d never work.

>Further immaturity

>At what age do normal people grow up? Because I’ve spent a good deal of this week manipulating an image of the world to show which countries we currently work in for a presentation. And I can’t help but notice how many countries look like wangs. Like Norway and Sweden, hanging out up at the top of Europe. Have a look at a map. Another good one is the southern-most… uh… tip (heh heh) of Brazil if you include Uraguay. I can’t believe how immature I can be sometimes.

Original Comments:

Ann Elin wrote (on 23/02/08):
Hey! Who`s country are you calling a wang? What is a wang anyway??

Jodi-Wan wrote (on 23/02/08):
Apparently it is a word that only I use meaning “penis”. 😛

Ann Elin wrote (on 24/02/08):
Oh good I thought it might be something offensive..

Brendan wrote (on 05/03/08):
Do you know that person or do they search the net randomly, looking to uphold the honour of their wangesque countries?!

What about Italy? A pretty deformed wang, I’ll grant you, but a wang all the same. Don’t give me this “boot” shit.

Jodi-Wan wrote (on 14/03/08):
I know that person! I met her and her family in Langkawi at Zach’s, Christmas (I didn’t say “Xmas” just for you, B) 2006. She’s a lovely person. She just happens to live in a wangish country.

>Again – smartest wee monkeys in the world

>

I emailed Jessica to tell her that I heard the sad news about the Namdaemun fire. Here’s her reply:

Dear Jodi teacher

HI,it was very awful,awful happining.The police think that someone burned it because there were ladder and 2 lighter.Some poeple also saw a man climbed the ladder.the firefighters had hard time puring water so that the fire would die because they didn’t exactly know what part was butning!!!How ashame!! The koreans are in a bad mood. their mind are full of sadness,furious and deploring.My family is one of them.My grandfather estimate it would be North korean,.Japanese or Chinese.Doesn’t it make quite sense?Also he is guessing that it might be the person who has a bad feeling about new government and try to insult them by making social confusing and furious.I do not hope it don’t invilve any politicaleffect because that is nothing to do with new government and the soon will Namdamun be fine take a shape as it did .Bye! Take Care!

Full of Love, Jessica

Further Immaturity

 
At what age do normal people grow up?  Because I’ve spent a good deal of this week manipulating an image of the world to show which countries we currently work in for a presentation. And I can’t help but notice how many countries look like wangs. Like Norway and Sweden, hanging out up at the top of Europe. Have a look at a map. Another good one is the southern-most… uh… tip (heh heh) of Brazil if you include Uraguay.  I can’t believe how immature I can be sometimes.

Cursed – Part Deux Point Five

 
I’m not calling this "Cursed Part Three" as the date on Saturday didn’t go all that badly. You know, considering.
 
First, I took it as a bad sign that I wasn’t excited or nervous all day on Saturday. I puttered around the house, goofed off, played guitar, and finally realised late in the day that I might want to shower and stuff. So I finally did that and left at the last possible minute.  I was still on time… but I’m usually early.
 
I couldn’t find the exact street Buddy2 told me to meet at, as the area around Charing Cross Road is busy. But I sent him a text message telling him exactly where I was and he came and got me. Which is a good start – at least he wasn’t late like the last guy.  And he’s pretty cute, also not like the last guy.
Through gesture and a notepad, we headed to a restaurant in Chinatown.  Communicating with Buddy2 wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn’t as easy as just being able to speak to someone.  We went to a very good restaurant with fantastic dimsum, which I love.  We "chatted" throughout the meal using a notepad. I’ve learned some sign language already.  He’s already learned my facial gesture for "huh?"
 
Although he couldn’t speak, he was very kind and pretty funny.  One thing I can share is this:  I don’t know how we got on the subject (no, really, it isn’t as though we were "talking" about it!) that things in the USA and the UK are spelled differently (although I think it came about from both of us being horrible spellers).  I was listing some of them; colour/color, cheque/check, neighbour/neighbor, doughnut/donut… and he added Blair/Bush.  Which is pretty funny. In fact, I might use that one some day.
 
After dinner we walked to a pub and had a pint and continued writing out our conversations. Walked to the train station and said goodnight.
 
There are some minor red flags with this guy: he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t eat spicy food, he doesn’t know how awesome Radiohead is.  He also makes me feel bad about myself because I do think that if he wasn’t deaf I would be more interested. But I can’t really imagine, I don’t know, like… getting married and stuff because it is too hard to be witty and/or sarcastic and/or cynical when you have to write everything down. Even if he learns to read lips, I’ll have to learn to speak slowly.  I’ll never get to chat with him about stupid stuff after lights out. I’ll never be able to argue how Travis is a much better band than Coldplay musically even if Coldplay is doing better commercially. Although he’d be the one guy who wouldn’t have anything smart-ass to say about my guitar playing.
 
For now, I’m leaving it like this: I’ve agreed to see him again, and I’m trying to be open-minded. But I’m pretty good about sussing dudes out right away and in the end I think that beyond him not being able to hear the melodious sound of my voice (shut up, Brendan), I don’t know if he and I have enough in common.
 
In the meantime, there are a few other Buddys waiting for me to email them back.  Out of the three, at least 2.5 of them may be wankers, and apparently 2 of them definitely are.
 
I’m such an ass. I probably deserve to be cursed…