I can’t believe it is already 2008 and I’ll be 32 this year. Where did all the time go?
I didn’t do anything to celebrate bringing in the New Year this time around… I felt as though it would have been hollow and forced, especially compared to the wonderful NYE I had last year with Amelia in the RMT in Korea. I had been invited out to do a couple of things – thank you to Nicole and some of my new workmates – or I could have simply gone into the city and joined in the festivities (there were lots of fireworks), but I just didn’t feel up to hanging out with people that would have essentially been strangers.
Instead, I was able to call my moms at midnight to wish her a Happy New Year, and I have taken some time to take stock and think about what I really want to start doing and what I will need to start getting there. I’ve decided on three things that I’m going to work on. Two of them – running and budgeting – I’ve already mentioned, but the third one I will keep to myself. It is part of my "taking stock". On the weekend I went through my closet and got rid of a tonne of clothes… it felt great. I probably could ditch even more, but I have a tendency to go too far (and then I would just have to run out and buy more clothes – not good for the budget). After the closet cleanse, I’ve decided there are other areas of my life that could also do with some "cleansing"… so that’s what I’m going to do. Hopefully, in the end, it will make me appreciate what I have much more, and not waste so much time thinking about what I don’t.
"Hope and nostalgia stand equally in the way of authentic experience." – Tom Robbins
I no longer want to waste my energy thinking in hypothetical situations. No more "what if’s"; be they past or future. I don’t want to live just in the present – that seems terminally short-sighted to me, but nor do I want to linger in the past or live in a future that may never exist. I want to find a balance between appreciating where I’ve been, loving where I am, and being hopeful about the future.
2007 was one of the greatest years of my entire life. I met a lot of wonderful people, I (overall) enjoyed my work (and, I’ve been told, was pretty good at it), I got at least 20 hugs every day (even if they were from grubby little monkeys, it was still love), I got to travel extensively (altogether I saw 16 countries), I didn’t have to worry about money, I got to see old friends (Joe, Orla, Brendan, Stu, Colin, Pam, Holly) again (some for the first time in over 2 years), I got to move to England. There’s probably a 100 more good things that happened, and the bad things… well, obviously they weren’t bad enough to get mentioned. Overall, a superstar year.
Which is why I worry about 2008.
What could possibly happen this year that will make it anywhere near as great as 2007? I don’t think there’s any possible way. I think 2008 is going to be about me trying to settle into yet another culture, another job (which I may not even want), another apartment. There will be highlights – I mean, my moms might come and see me! How exciting! But overall I think this is going to be a maintenance year. Payback for how I’ve been living the last two years. A year to get my health and finances together. A year to sit back quietly and appreciate just how lucky I have been.
Not to say that I don’t think it will be a good year – I just don’t think it will be a highlight. But you never know – the universe could prove me wrong. Maybe something so fantastic will happen that I won’t even think about the previous years. Maybe something so horrific will happen that 2008 will become the worst year of my life (bumping 2003 out of that spot). I just don’t know.
Anyhoo, enough about my musing about the changing of the year. I hope everyone has a wonderful 2008. Happy New Year!