Dear Abby…

I’ve gotten some friendly advice via email after I posted my "What to Do? What to do?" mini-crisis blog.
you could be a garbage person.  you could ride on
the back of the truck and throw the trash in the
truck. that would be a kick ass job! what do you
think? or a nuclear waste taste tester? you could
get super powers!  or one of those people that just
smell feet for a living?  but seriously, you should go
to ireland and visit B and then get a job at the
Guinness plant… then send me some free stuff!!!
just do it… stop thinking and do it!
Although not very helpful, it did make me laugh.  So, thanks for that John (also, thanks for adding to my Potter experience by whispering "Balls!" while they were in the room with all the… you know. Balls.)
I just read your blog. 
I completely relate to what you’re saying about that kinda empty feeling you have when you don’t have a "goal" to achieve.  We spend our whole lives working towards something… graduate high school, graduate college, university… get a good job, get married, have kids… blah blah blah.  When we spend our whole lives always working towards something, and then that moment when we have achieved that goal arrives, a sense of panic sets in.  For me, I felt like "what is the purpose? what is the point? I don’t get it, what am I actually doing here on this planet?"  For me, I had to stop and just realize where I was, and what I was doing and realize I am happy with the way things are right now.  I didn’t HAVE to have a next goal (but I do) but I did have to just breath and appreciate that I was actually LIVING the original goal right here right now and I choose to enjoy it.
I think you didn’t get a job code because you will be good at anything and everything you do.  I think you don’t know where to go or what to do next because you haven’t gone there and done it yet.  I think you are going about it the right way, cross off the things you know you DON’T want to do off the list.  Do not do them.  Don’t even make them your fall back.  I do think you should go to a place where you will have a better chance of finding love… like the UK or something… It must be pretty hard to find love in Korea!  And when you get to that place (hell, just spin the globe and put your finger down and go there!) do something you never thought of doing before.  Maybe you will go to get your advanced theatre degree in London? Maybe you can be an English translator in France?  Maybe you can be a tour guide in Switzerland?  To sum up my advice succinctly, pick a destination, pack your bag and go.  You will be successful at what ever life throws at you.  I don’t think you have apathy for your life’s direction, in fact, you are one of the few people I have ever known who has taken her life by the horns and rode away.
You don’t have to know what you want to be when you grow up, because you will be hundreds of things and the fun part: you won’t even know you want them till they happen.
Anyway, enough preachy blah blah… just don’t fret about it too much, enjoy life and just dream of impossible things… you never know what will happen.
PS. If you ever do want to come home, you can always stay with me!  I want you to come home too, but it is not time.
John and Carey (and my moms, actually) seem to be telling me the same thing (although in profoundly different ways). Don’t worry so much. Just go ahead and do it, and it will work out in the end. I think they are all absolutely right… it is just hard to have so much faith in myself to make the best decision right now.

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