Monthly Archives: May 2007

Mother's Day

 
Happy Mother’s Day, Moms!!
I love you and miss you lots.
 
MWAH!

5:30 Funnies

 
It is getting to the point where almost every 5:30 class one of those insane little monkeys (they ARE insane. Today Lydia brought in a live goldfish. When I asked her why she had it – a perfectly normal question, I would say – Lydia shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don’t know". How could she possibly NOT know why she is carrying a gold-freaking-fish around? HOW??) say something that cracks me up.  Here are some from the last few classes…
 
Lily had two good ones on the same page.  The first question was "What is an ingredient in a cake?"  Her answer?  "The ingredient in a cake is cake mix."  The other good one was "The spice that I like is spicy spice."
 
I also appreciate that when one of the children asked, "What is an Egyptian?", Eddie said, "like this" and proceeded to "walk like an Egyptian".
 
I know that they listen, because sometimes they throw things back at me that I know I taught them (perhaps not purposely) in the past. Sometimes they don’t get it quite right. Like when we were discussing bad smells and Emily came up with "like when someone throws their cookies." 
Emily also asked me the best question EVER during a spelling test today. She politely put up her hand and said, "Teacher, how do you spell ‘cooties’?"
 
Finally, my favourite moment from last week. Amelia-Teacher had come into the room to first borrow a dictionary and then to ask if I could think of any good metaphors. Well, then my class wanted to know what a metaphor and a simile were.
 
~Quick background note to the story~
 
It is allergy season, and almost every class Curie comes in with her eyes red and runny and sniffling. Poor thing.
 
~End quick background note~
 
I said, "MK is a monkey is a metaphor. MK is acting LIKE a monkey… that is a simile."
At this point Eddie pipes up and says, "Hey, I’ve got a metaphor for you.  Her eyes are as red as a rabbit’s ass."
I think he meant eyes.  But get this… I’ve been teaching too long. I didn’t even crack a smile (the LAST thing I need is for Eddie "Edwardo, Mayor of Cootietown" to know is that "ass" is a funny word).  I just looked at Eddie and said, "That was a simile" before moving on to the next question.

Friday's Feast (which is starting to get cold…)

 

Appetizer
Tell about a time when you had to be brave.

I think I’m being pretty brave every time I have to go to the dentist (which I hate). I think it was pretty brave to get on the plane to come to Korea. Alone.  I think just waking up each day and facing it the best you can is also a form of bravery.

Soup
Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing?

TRANSFORMERS.

Salad
Name an item you try to always have on hand.

In Korea?  TISSUES.  True story.

Main Course
Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of.  Now describe it!

There would be no walls. The ocean would be close by (close enough to hear it).  There would be no electricity there. I wouldn’t be able to hear anything other than the ocean and perhaps birdcall (definitely no other people!) It would be very warm, but with a nice breeze blowing through. It would smell nice.  There would be nice, comfy places to lounge around. Somehow, even though there were no walls, there would be no bugs (human or insect!)

Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how spiritual or religious are you?

Spiritually about a 6 or 7 (just don’t ask me to explain what I believe). When it comes to religion, I would say that I’m somewhere in the negative numbers. I don’t really support religion of any sort (although I thoroughly support spirituality).

Get to the North Korea Trip Already

 
If you guys start at the bottom and work your way up (which you should… my blog probably makes more sense if you read it chronologically), you are probably wondering why I haven’t talked about the DPRK. I’m getting to it. I just have other stuffs to talk about first. Settle down.

Please, Please, Mr. Postman

 
I do SO love getting mail. It is one of the greatest things that can happen!
 
Thank you to Jimmy in Scotland for the postcard of Keswick-on-Derwentwater!
 
And thanks to Anne and Anne who both sent things from Canada via my moms. So of COURSE, thank you moms for sending along the goods (as well as the picture of you and Harv at Disneyland and the Skor bars!).
 
Hooray! Mail! And mail that I didn’t send myself!! 
 
Thanks again!

Random

 
So, I was walking home from Lotte Mart tonight when a random thing happened. I had to cross the busiest road in history and so I took the underpass. Partway done the steps I started hearing music. Turns out there was a white guy (random enough in Korea) down there playing sax. Completely random.

Good-bye, MySpace

 
I just deleted my MySpace account and I’m pretty happy about it. I’m still going to use Facebook, but I don’t feel as though I need to be all over the internet. I’m now officially down to just three spaces…
 
 
I suppose technically I’m at Yahoo too… and Google… but they don’t really count… do they?
 

Curse You MySpace and Facebook

 
I hardly ever check MySpace anymore, so I don’t find these FASINATING surveys to do anymore. Except now I’m on Facebook all the freaking time and (hold your breath, my lucky little duckies!) I found one that I actually haven’t done before.
 
This is when YOU should hate my insomnia nearly as much as I do. If I would just GO TO BED, you wouldn’t have to read this. In fact, you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to. You can skip it and go to the next mesmerizing and informative blog entry that I have created.
 
I stole this from April, someone who I was good friends with in high school, haven’t seen in almost 10 years, and haven’t even been in contact with since probably 2004. We are connected now through Facebook… isn’t the internet neat?  Anyhoo… that’s the backstory to this one.
 
A
– Available: Yes, but probably not interested in you.
– Age: 31
– Annoyance: Just one? Are you kidding me?
– Actor: Keifer Sutherland (as Jack Bauer)

B
– Beer: I would kill you and your entire family for a decent (read: not Korean) beer right now. I would even drink a Chinese beer…

– Birthday/Birthplace: April 5 / New Westminster, BC, Canada
– Best Friends: There are a few… but my moms, Mike, and Carey are on the top of the list (Brendan almost made it… but then he moved away. Way to go, dillhole.)
– Body Part on opposite sex: back of the neck
– Best feeling in the world: getting a standing ovation after a performance (I meant on stage, perverts)
– Big words: even if I could think of one, I wouldn’t know how to spell it.
– Best weather: thunder and lightning storms
– Been in Love: Yes (real and pretend)
– Been bitched out?: Yes (this week, actually)
– Been on stage?: Yes
– Believe in yourself?: Shit no! I’m just a figment of my own imagination.
– Believe in life on other planets: Yes
– Believe in miracles: Yes
– Believe in Magic: I believe in illusion
– Believe in God: I do… but not in the way this question means it
– Believe in Satan: Just the devil inside…
– Believe in Santa: He still sends me gifts (my moms just has to redirect them to Korea, apparently Santa is too delayed to figure out my new address)
– Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Yes
– Believe in Evolution: Yes

C
– Car: no
– Candy: sour gummy cola bottles

– Colour: red
– Cried in school: Yes,  embarrassingly enough a few times… (3 times came right to mind: when I fell in the mud in grade one and I thought I would have to sit through the rest of the day in my underpants; in grade 11 when Bruce and I broke up; again in grade 11 when my stepbrother had committed suicide)
– Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate
– Chinese/Mexican: both!
– Cake or pie: only ice cream cake OR lemon meringue pie
– Country to visit:  North Korea (May), The Philippines (July), Japan (September), Singapore (September), Malaysia (again!), Vietnam, Laos, and then Canada (and then England, Scotland, and Ireland… not sure after that)
D
– Day or Night: night
– Dream vehicle: the Batmobile
– Danced: Yes
– Dance in the rain?: Yes
– Do the splits?: Almost got there but I stopped doing TKD

E
– Eggs: scrambie
– Eyes: murky green
– Everyone has a: dark side
– Ever failed a class? No

F
– First crush: I was in grade three and I don’t remember his name
– First kiss: can’t remember

– Full name: Jodi Anne Schneck
– First thoughts waking up: "Why the hell did I buy the most annoying alarm clock on the planet??" (It is a green racoon… thing that is about 6 inches tall with flashing red lights. It is terrifying. And it plays music and then says "time to get up" in Korean)
– Food: pizza & popcorn

G
– Greatest Fear: mediocrity
– Giver or taker: giver (true story… I tend to give more than I take. In fact, I’m sure some people – people who shouldn’t even bother leaving a comment about this one – get annoyed with my inability to accept things – like money, aid, love – from other people)
– Goals: to be happy

– Gum: cinnamon
– Get along with your parents?: Yes
– Good luck charm: my hedgehog "Lou"

In girls/guys:
Eye colour: Hair Colour: Short/Long: Height: Clothing Style: None of this matters as much as who they are in the inside (and how hot they are on the outside. HA!)

H
– Hair Colour: brown
– Height: 170cm
– Happy: Yes (mostly)
– Holiday: BEACH
– How do you want to die: I don’t want to die
– Health freak?: No. I am an unhealth freak (usually)

– Hate: ignorance
– Hockey Team: Go Canucks!
I
– Ice cream: Rolo
– Instrument: accoustic guitar

J
– Jewellery: any/all. Usually silver
– Job: currently "teaching" kindergarten

K
– Kids: approximately 70 (in my classroom)
– Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing is for pussies (that’s right – I said "pussies"… I’ll fight ya anytime) and karate is an inferior Japanese immitation of the world’s greatest martial art… Tae Kwon Do (feel the wrath of my black belt!!)
– Keep a journal?: Does this blog count?  Then yes.

L
– Longest Car Ride: Quesnel to Vancouver and back (same day)
– Love: Yes. Wait, what the hell is this question asking??  And what does my answer even mean??

– Letter: X (it is SO COOL)
– Laughed so hard you cried: Yes… often!
– Love at first sight: Yes
– Long Distance Relationships: No no no no no.

LAST PERSON WHO…
1. Slept in a bed beside you? Ew… probably Brendan

2. Saw you cry? Amelia (stupid 24 season 5!)
3. Went to the movies with you? I saw 300 with Brooke, Chadlinger, and Gentleman’s Bathroom (John)
4. You went to the mall with? I last went to the COEX with Brendan, Stefanie, and John
5. You went to dinner with? Last weekend we all went to Carnie Station (all you can eat… and drink – YIKES) for Keesie’s birthday
6. You talked to on the phone? Amelia tried to get me to go shoe shopping
7. Made you laugh? my 5:30 class (specifically Eddie and Lydia)

M
– Milk flavour: Chocolate
– Movie: I can’t possibly pick just one
– Mooned anybody: heh heh. Yes.
– Marriage?: Not right now
– Motion sickness? Yes (I freaking HATE the buses!)

N
– Number of Siblings: 1
– Number of Piercings: 5
– Number: 3, 5, or 7

O
– Overused Phrases: Phrases that *I* overuse?  Balls. True story. Scrotum. Go birthday yourself. So many more…
– One wish: to never really grow up
– One phobia: Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror

P
– Place you’d like to live: Anywhere near the ocean
– Perfect Pizza: cheese and meat
– Pepsi/Coke: I’m not fussy about it

Q
– Quail: This was the best they could do for the "Q" question??

R
– Reason to cry: There are lots of reasons to cry, but in my classroom you are only allowed to cry if you are hurt
– Reality T.V.: The Amazing Race
– Radio Station: last.fm (online)
– Roll your tongue in a circle? Yes
– Rolling Stones/ Rascall Flatts: Stones

S
– Song: Never, ever, EVER could I pick just one song
– Shoe size: Usually a 9
– Salad Dressing: Ranch
– Sushi: I love sushi – second on my list of favourite foods
– Scent: Jasmine
– Slept outside: Yes
– Seen a dead body?: No
– Smoked?: Not seriously
– Skinny dipped? No
– Shower Daily?: No… I sleep in a lot. No… a LOT.
– Sing well? NO. But I do it anyway. I’m sure my neighbours freaking HATE me.
– In the shower? Not in Korea – there is a vent into the hallway. No one needs that sort of torture
– Swear?: Fuck, yes!
– Stuffed Animals?: No. Except Miller (Carey’s small stuffed dinosaur that I’m carrying around Asia)
– Single/Group dates: I’ve never been on a date, but the idea of a group date really grosses me out
– Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries (but raspberries would be better)

– Scientists need to invent: a way for me to ingest only pizza, beer, coffee, and sushi and still be healthy
– Sex: Yes please.

T
– Time for bed: probably an hour ago (no matter what the time is!)
– Thunderstorms: I LOVE thunderstorms!

– TV: I haven’t plugged in my TV since before Christmas
– Touch your tongue to your nose?: A little
– Truck: No
– Tattoos: One on my back.
U
-Unpredictable: Sometimes
-Unpredictability: Mutable

V
– Vegetable you hate: ALL OF THEM!! No, serious?? Any vegetable that has the audacity to go limp. LOSERS! TIGHTEN UP!
– Vegetable you love: Sigh. I wish beer was a vegetable. I do like avacados. And, um… tomatoes. The rest I tolerate.

– Vacation spot: The beach. Any warm, sandy beach. With a cocktail.

W
– Weakness: Boys
– When you grow up: HA HA HA HA HA!!!
– Which one of your friends acts the most like you: No one acts like me… my friends are too smart for that!

– Who makes you laugh the most: This is a quality I look for in a friend, so it is most of the people I know!
– Worst feeling: lately? My hangover after the night at Carne Station (I’m telling you, "all you can drink" is a bad idea… especially if you have a competitive nature!)
– Wanted to be a model?: No. An actress, yes. A model, no.
– Where do we go when we die: wherever we need to
– Worst weather: dull, doing nothing weather. Like when it is overcast. BORING.

X
-X-Rays: Other than at the dentist, I don’t remember getting x-rays before coming to Korea. And now I have had 4 x-rays (2 back, one shoulder, one hip) and an MRI (hip).

Y
-Year it is now: 2007
-Yellow: sun

 
Z
-Zoo animal: MONKEYS
-Zodiac sign: Aries

Wind 'Em Up

 
My 5:30 class has become ridiculous. Correction: MORE ridiculous. And the worst part is: I encourage it. I’m supposed to be the damned teacher but by the end of the day, I’m much happier if we are all laughing the entire time.
 
It started with Eddie. It ALWAYS starts with Eddie. He’s a bit of a turd but he’s fun to get all wound up.  Easy one today – he was sitting right beside me (and in a silly mood). He turned to me and said, "Teacher, MK is kicking me!"
 
To which I replied, "MK is KISSING you??"
 
Eddie thought that wasn’t very funny (even though he was laughing) so he trying to correct me, "Teacher, no. KICKING ME!"
 
So I leaned around Eddie, looked at MK and sternly said, "MK, I don’t care how many times Eddie asks you to do it. Stop kissing him! You kiss him again and you lose ten stickers."
 
Most of the class has lost it by this point, including Eddie and MK.  Eddie tried to fix the situation one more time by saying, "Teacher!  KICK ME!"
 
So I kicked him. HA!
 
And then I told him he was a nutbar for asking MK to kiss him and me to kick him.  Which made all of us laugh again.  I turned away from Eddie and at the other end of the table, Barbie and Lydia were losing their minds they were laughing so hard. Barbie started saying, "Teacher, stop… stop… my stomach hurts… teacher…"  and then she fell on the floor laughing.
At that point Lydia pipes up (note: Lydia sounds like a 40-year-old chain-smoking Vegas lounge singer. At age 10.) and says, "Teacher, I think she is going to lay a baby!"
 
I wind them up… they wind me up.  All in all, a good class to end the week on.

Going Postal

 
It has been SUCH a crap week, that the few highlights there have been (Amelia – YOU getting new shoes is NOT a highlight in MY week… just so you know) have been so important to me. So I’d like to thank a couple of people for the love.
 
Hoolicia!  How wonderful it was to get a postcard from you! And although I rather detest having a picture of CALGARY ALBERTA on my fridge… I do like that it reminds me that you thought of me while you were there. LOVES!
 
MOMS!  I just got the postcard from Disneyland. I’m happy you and Harvey had a good time!!  Thanks so much – I stapled it up on the wall in my classroom.
 
Mmmmm…. mail goodness! There is still nothing better than love in the mail… not that I’m hinting or anything…