Bodily Harm II

Alright, I suppose I technically lived through day one. IF YOU CAN CALL THIS LIVING.  And actually, I cheated.
Well, I didn’t actually cheat. I just didn’t go home for lunch and I didn’t eat exactly what I was supposed to. To me, that means that I didn’t stick to the plan, but I feel like it was due to circumstances beyond my control. If I had intentionally went out and ate something not on the list (coffee, beer, pizza, tomato sandwich, something… anything!) then THAT would be cheating. This was not cheating. But I also didn’t do what I’m supposed to be doing. So, I’m not counting today as day one anymore – I’m counting this as the preview. And I certainly do NOT want to see the feature film.
Why is the universe against me? Why does the proverbial shite have to hit the fan every time I’m not allowed to have a coffee or a beer? WHY?
So, this morning I woke up (late, ’cause I’m not sleeping again) and headed off to school. I got there just in the nick of time (no coffee makes me move like a freaking tree sloth, apparently).  My desk is heaped with marking I can ‘t seem to find time to do and new science bags that I don’t have time to think about. I figure I’ll survive though (even without coffee… sigh) because I will do a bunch of marking during kindergarten.  Guess how much I got finished? ZERO. I found out 10 minutes after the bell that a teacher from the other LCI school would be observing my class. So I erased the board (to many groans from the peanut gallery until I said "playtime") and waited for George to show up. I just felt sorry for him – observing can be a bitch. Seriously. Anyhoo, they finally got him there and we started.
Now, having someone in the classroom to watch is no problem: thank YOU, minor in theatre. However, I can’t fucking goof off marking stuff for other classes when someone is in there watching me be a "good teacher". AURGH! So, now I have a headache the size of Asia, an ever-growing pile of marking, and I can’t even get my kids’ Daily Reports written. And then; oh joy! I find out that tomorrow there will be FIVE teachers from our own school watching what I am doing for Parents’ Day.
I AM flattered that LCI Admin wants people to check out what I am doing; that makes me feel like I’m doing a good job. HOWEVER, I know that the teachers who are observing tomorrow will fall into one of the following camps: won’t learn anything, won’t learn anything and won’t care; won’t learn anything, won’t care, and will be insulted that they had to observe me.  And you know how that makes me feel? Awesome. Awesome to the max.
So, that was kindergarten. And, by the way, being observed at 11:30 tomorrow will also be balls. I’m beginning to hate anyone who isn’t volunteering to mark my 5:30 Monthly Tests.
Wait a second! I was supposed to be confessing to when I wasn’t being so cleansing to my body, not ranting and raving (although I’m not finished doing that either, fair warning to you) about how shitty today was at work! Well, the failing happened at lunch today.  I was going to just come home at lunch because you never know what sort of mess is going to be in the lunchroom, but a fair guess is that it will NOT be a lovely array of fresh, raw fruits and veggies. But then George was there, and I don’t think he knows many people well in Suji, and I didn’t want to abandon him at lunch (he seems like a nice guy and he didn’t act like an asshole to me because he had to observe me).  So I went upstairs to the lunchroom with him to eat. I don’t think I failed too badly – but I don’t know if fermented cabbage with red peppers and other spices (read: kimchi) constitutes a "raw vegetable" or not. I also had a bit of meat and some soup… there was no way I was going to make it through the next five hours on a tablespoon of cabbage kimchi and a tablespoon of cucumber kimchi. I didn’t eat the rice though and the soup was a Korean miso – mostly beans, fish stock and cabbage. So again: although I won’t be actually counting this as Day One of the cleanse anymore (sigh)… I don’t feel like I did too bad.
Did I mention though that I’m freaking starving?  This is the most fruits and vegetables I have eaten in one day since I last ate at my moms’ house. Dang.
Back to bitching about work. Thought I forgot, didn’tcha? Suckas.
So, that was kindergarten. By 2:30, my caffeine-addicted brain was screaming at me about the lack of its morning hit, my kids were off the hook from having George-Teacher there all day (and too many interruptions to our schedule), I had the pressure of tomorrow’s observations looming, I had 30 spelling tests to mark, 20 presentations to mark, 5 IBT class homework assignments to check (those ones had to be done, somehow, BEFORE 4:00), and 10 Monthly Tests to grade.
To make matters worse, today is the first day of the new session for our Tuesday/Thursday classes. 2:30 was a mess, the supervisor is about as useful as having a second asshole on your elbow. She had given us our lesson plans that day, but effed them up so royally that Amelia gave them back. She gave them back to us after lunch. They were still fubared. DAMN!  I did NOT need that pressure when I must get things marked and class starts in two flipping minutes. And when Amelia and I told her off (she should have given us the lesson plans last week to review), she got all pissy. Then during the class I gave her corrected (this is the third one, now) lesson plans. She typed it up and gave it back. STILL INCORRECT. I corrected it again. She wanted to talk to me. I told her I didn’t have the fucking time (settle down, moms… I was much more polite than that even though all I wanted to do was back-hand her across the face by this point) and that I had to fix the schedule AGAIN.  It seemed like that crises was (mostly) over.
And then I realized that I was taking a new 4:00 class. One for which I didn’t know the kids. Or the level. Or the books. I had no schedule. And it was 3:50. And all I want at this point is a coffee with a shot of whiskey in it. Or seventeen of them.
It would have been glorious after all of that to just go home and chill out. But you see, there were two things preventing that. First of all, I had to go have dinner with some former students.
Did you guys know that private tutoring is illegal in this country?  That’s why I don’t do it for an hour each week.
After dinner, one would think that I would get to chill out. But my house was (and mostly still is) the biggest disaster area you could imagine. I did finally get packages mailed out this weekend (so keep an eye out for one Mike, moms, Colin, and Trish!) but I still have to get packages mailed out to myself (time to start thinking about leaving Korea already!) and some general purging. Why do I have so much stuff?!?
Now, here it is. 12:34am by my clock, and I’m just relaxing now. Tomorrow has to be a better day. Right?

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