Monthly Archives: March 2007

Friday's Feast

What are you proud of?

I’m proud of dropping everything at nearly 30 years old and embarking on a grand adventure in Asia.

What is the best thing you’ve ever won as a prize?

I don’t normally win prizes, so this is a hard one for me to answer. I actually can’t think of a thing right now. I don’t think I have ever won a prize. That’s terrible!

Name something you do that is a waste of time.

Now, I know some people would say "blogging", but later I plan on looking back at my blog and seeing exactly where my head was at during this time. I do waste time just farting around online, not really doing anything.

Main Course
In what year of your life did you change the most?

Realistically, probably the first year. I mean, think of all the growing and learning and changing you are doing at that time. I’ve made a lot of changes in the last few years to my life, but I don’t feel like *I* have changed much at all. Ever. Maybe I’m wrong; but most of the time I feel like I’m the exact same way I was when I was eight.

Where is a place you consider to be very tranquil?

Chilling out at night on the beach, bare feet in the sand, drink in hand, listening to tunes and the ocean in the background and looking at the stars.

I Hate to Complain, BUT…


I am SO tired of being sick. It is balls, my friends. Absolute balls. *cough* *hack*

Another Survey?? NOOOOO!!!!

Hey! At least I wrote SOMETHING, right? There hasn’t been a lot going on lately.
Do you tend to rip the paper off waterbottles?
I do, but sometimes I hate it when I do. It looks messy, so if I want to reuse the waterbottle, I get pretty upset if I have ripped the label off.

If the mob was after you, what would you do?
::Right now, the same thing I would do if North Korea invaded. I would get a month’s supply of Peanut M&Ms and hide under my bed with my Nintendo DS and my sword.

When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?
::Yes, yes and yes. I need to sit up immediately or I’m right back out. I should set the alarm at bedtime… maybe it would help me get to sleep. Ha!

If you were given the chance to take care of a monkey for a weekend, would you?
::I bet you all thought I would say yes… but my house is messy enough without monkey dung flung all over it, I thank you very much.  I think YOU should take of the wee bastard and let me visit you and laugh.

What is the current advertisement on the side of the screen?
:: Nothing on the side. Hooray!

What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
:: My birthday, seeing Brendan again, going to North Korea, and going to the Philippines.

When did/will you turn 18?
::April 5, 1994 (I did the math in my head so it may be off a bit)

If you were being chased by an alligator, what would you do?
::I would wonder what the hell I was doing in Florida.

How many pillows are on your bed?

What song are you currently listening to?
::"Lloyd, I’m Ready to Be Heartbroken" by Camera Obscura (but my favourite right now is "The Funeral" by Band of Horses)

Have you ever passed out from drinking?
::I know you will find this hard to believe… but yes. Yes I have.

If you caught a significant other cheating on you what would you do?
::I was just going to try and be funny… mention my blackbelt… but you know, I think how I would react could depend on a lot of different things. That would be a hard one to forgive though.

What time did you wake up this morning?
::Just after 9:00am. Stupid work! 

Do you have any cousins?
::I have a bunch, but I’m really only in contact with a few: Katherine and Kerrie on my dad’s side and Carey on my moms’ side (but he isn’t my REAL cousin, he’s like a second cousin AND – how strange is this – he is also in Korea).

Can you imagine yourself living in a cardboard box?
::Yep. I remember when I was a kid my moms would hook us up with an appliance box and make a fort out of it for us. That was awesome!  It may be less awesome if my box wasn’t inside a house though. But in the end, living in a cardboard box would sure beat lying dead in an oak one.

Who was the last person you talked to?

What is the WORST subject they teach at school?
::18th Century English Poetry (Aurgh! I will never appreciate the "Graveyard School of Poetry").

Where do you plan on living when you grow up?
::I would love to live near the ocean. In any country, just near the ocean.

What was your dream this morning?
::I don’t remember this morning’s dream. But the other day I had a dream that I was in this big house – Jim Carrey was there (random) – and every room in the house was filled with millions of playing cards. We were trying to get them all back into proper decks and Jim was being a bitch about it.

How many times have you seen your favorite movie?
::Kajillions of times.

Where was the last place you traveled?
::Langkawi, Malaysia

How was your past weekend?
::Mediocre. Friday night and Saturday night were fun, but the days have been filled with bullshit and illness. And Sunday I had to make *shudder* Monthly Tests. 

What is your favorite song?
::I would find it impossible to pick just one… I have current favourites and all-time favourites and… and I couldn’t let any of them down by picking just one.

If puppies stayed small forever, would you buy one?
::Dudes, I want a dog so bad, even if it has to grow up someday. But I promised myself I wouldn’t buy one. I am only allowed to have one if a) it is the right breed – a beagle – and b) someone gives it to me. 

When was your last kiss?
::I had to kiss Emily’s finger better just this afternoon.

Do you think you are attractive?
::If I was attractive, I think someone would be attracted to me. Since I don’t see anyone around: no.

Is someone on your mind right now?
::Does Batman count?

Can you say the alphabet backwards?
::Holy crap, I just tried and I can’t. I’m retarded. Maybe THAT’S why no one is attracted to me! It’s not my looks after all!

Do you worry about how you look?
::Yup, I do. I think most people do though.  Or at least I hope so or I have one more thing to add to my "Reasons I May ACTUALLY Be Nuts" list. And that list is already too damned long, people.

Would you ever change for a boy/girl?
::Not ever because I was asked to. But I find that every person I’m with influences me and changes me in ways that I’m not even always aware of (and, some would argue, not always for the better. Right, Amelia?).

Pro-life or Pro-choice?
::I’m Pro-be-as-smart-as-you-can-with-your-choices-but-if-things-go-wrong-then-it-is-your-body.
Have you ever been on stage?
::Many, many times.

Can you whistle?
::Poorly. And I wish I could do that loud whistle with my fingers in my mouth. That would be rad.

Would you do anything for that special someone?
::"Anything" is pretty open for interpretation. I would do MORE for my special someone than I would for say, YOU. But "anything"… I need more parameters.

Do you know who Stewie Griffin is?
::Who the bloody hell doesn’t know who Stewie Griffin is?? (Sorry moms… it is the football-shaped-headed baby who can talk on the Fox cartoon "The Family Guy".)

Do you have any plans for today?
::It is already 10:33pm and my only plans are to chill out, clean up a bit (laundry to finish), and then hit the hay.

Do you hangout with more guys or girls?
::Usually the answer would be guys (beyond a doubt, ’cause I like them more, even as buddies) but lately it has been girls. Who the hell even am I?

Have you ever thought a friend could be more than a friend?
::Of course. In fact, I believe that is how Mike and I ended up together.

Do you like the beach?
::SO much. I wish I was on the beach RIGHT NOW.

What color is your toothbrush?
::I’m thinking it is blue and white. But I can tell you this – it is an electric toothbrush and the batteries are dead. I still try to turn it on though, and I don’t know why. Not only am I aware of the battery situation, but I also never really liked the vibrating toothbrush thing.

What makes you laugh?
::Lots of things make me laugh. Sometimes appropriately, sometimes not. No matter what, the word "turd" will make me laugh. True story.
Are you ticklish?
::Very, very, VERY ticklish… and everywhere (including my friend Carey’s forehead – long story). However, if you try to tickle me without me being in the mood, I can use my Jedi abilities to hold off the laughter long enough to kick your ass.

Have you ever been in a hotel room with your friends/ opposite sex?
::Um, yes.

Where did you take your default pic?
::For my blog picture… it is a picture that Mike made and emailed to me.

What is your current problem?
::There is not enough blog space in the world for that. Do you have a couch I could lay on perhaps?  Where should I start??
What makes you most happy?
::It doesn’t take much to make me happy… I do enjoy popping popcorn on the stove without a lid if I need a laugh.
Has anyone you’ve been really close with passed away?
::Yes. Family and friends.

Do you like MTV?
::Some damned Yank MUST have made these questions up or the question would have been "Do you like MuchMusic?" However, for me the answer is the same no matter how you ask it. No.

Name something that’s really annoying to you:
::Remember when I said it doesn’t take much to make me happy? It takes even less to annoy me. Usually other people being ignorant though. Sometimes just other people.
If you were drafted into a war, would you serve?
::No. I would hide under my bed with my peanut M&Ms, Nintendo DS, and sword. This emergency plan is turning out to be really useful!
Do you sleep with the tv on?
::I locked my TV in the closet in the other room. So no. But sometimes, when I am sick, I like to put a movie on and purposely fall asleep in front of it. I also always liked napping on the couch with Mike while he watched basketball.

Have you ever wheezed the juice?
::I never had the courage to go that far in a convenience store, sad to say.

Have you ever won a spelling bee?
::I don’t remember ever being in a spelling bee. But I suck at spelling so I don’t think I would win one anyway. 

How fast can you type?
::Last time I tested I was over 80WPM with more than 98% accuracy.

Are you afraid of the dark?
::No, I like the dark. Except, get this… weird. I was just thinking about this last night. I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And I didn’t want to turn on the light because the light was bothering the pink-eyed eye before I went to sleep. And I realized, as I was peeing, that I don’t ever go to the bathroom with the lights off. And when I went to wash my hands, I realized WHY I don’t ever go to the bathroom with the lights off. I’m afraid to look in the mirror in the dark. I know, logically (and with the lights on), that Bloody Mary is not real and cannot "get" me from inside the mirror… but why tempt fate? So I never, ever look in the mirror when the lights are off.

What color are your socks?
::I have a beautiful array of socks, but the sporty little numbers I am wearing right now are white, grey, and orange.

Have you ever made out at a drive-in?

When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
::Dude, I haven’t had a bath since I was in China. I would kill someone for a bath!

Do you knock on wood?
::Often. Maybe it will help keep Bloody Mary away.
Do you floss daily?
::No, but I want to. It’s a good idea. But I hate sticking my hands in my mouth. Do you have any idea where my hands have been?? ME EITHER! I would have to clean my fingernails first. Frankly, most of the time (meaning: when I haven’t eaten popcorn) I trust that my toothbrush can handle my teeth just fine. 

Do you wanna Fanta?
::Actually, I don’t remember ever drinking it back home. But here in the ROK, Pineapple Fanta is pretty darned tasty!

Can you hula hoop?
::HA HA HA! You know who CANNOT hula hoop?  AMELIA. It is true. She looks like she is humping the damned thing when she tries. I’ll nab a vid one day.  I can hula hoop, but not as well as I could when I was a kid.

Are you good at keeping secrets?
::Yes, unless you didn’t specifically ask me not to tell the internet at large that you look like you are humping a hula hoop when you attempt to hula hoop. I need to be told the boundries if it is a funny and/or juicy story. You say don’t tell, and I won’t. If your story is boring and useless (as so many of them are), I won’t say a word. Heck, I won’t even listen to the words coming out of your mouth.

What do you want for Christmas?
::Should I keep this rated PG13?  How about a beach vacation and a kiss under the mistletoe?

Do you know the Muffin Man?
::Yah, he stole my bike.

Do you talk in your sleep?
::Not regularly. I don’t think. I mean, if I do: I’m sleeping when I do it and I don’t really know.
Who wrote the book of love?
::I did, babies.

Have you ever flown a kite?
::Yes, but not for a long time. My moms used to take Brian and I to the ocean to fly kites.

Do you wish on your fallen eyelashes?
::Yes, if someone finds it for me.

Do you whiten your teeth?
::No, then whitening stuff hurts them.

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
::Isn’t the Rock a wrestler? No, wait… he’s that retarded action-movie guy… no… yes… no… I dunno.

Have you ever asked for a pony?
::Yes. And a few years ago my moms gave me a "My Little Pony" as a gag so I could finally take "pony" off my Christmas list.

Have you, or would you ever, donate sperm/eggs?
::I haven’t ever donated my eggs… Would I? Situations, people! I need to know what the circumstances are! (I was going to make a joke about accepting sperm donations, but I couldn’t think of how to word it without being completely disgusting and upsetting my moms, so I’ll leave it out.)
Can you juggle?
::I can juggle scarves, but nothing heavier than that.
If you could enact any new law, what would it be?
::No hawking and spitting outside of the privacy of a bathroom. Sick! And everyone in the world should have to pay a one-cent tax (just one time) and all the money should go to me. Hooray!

Do the chickens have large talons?
::Napoleon Dynamite was the funniest move…

If you had only enough energy left in you for one last smile, who would you give it to?
::Whoever was awesome enough to be there with me for my last breath and smile. Whoever you are, dude… I thank you in advance. You kick ass.

Are you ready to rumble?
::I’m always ready to rumble.

Can you count to Schfifty-Five?
::Now, this is a reference I don’t get.  I should look it up. Now I get it. No. I can’t count to Schfifty-five.

Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?

How do you spell relief?
::I have never won a spelling bee because I always forget if "i" comes before "e" in relief.
Have you ever crawled through a window?
::Heh heh. Yes. I was always forgetting my keys as a kid.
Have you ever eaten dog food?
::No. But I have eaten cat food*. I like to prepare for the worst. What if there was an earthquake and you were trapped and all that was within reach was the cat food dish? Could you stomach eating it? Better to find out now then to wait and find out you can’t.
On a side note: I have eaten a dog biscuit. Not bad tasting, but very dry.
*DRY cat food. That wet stuff smells like shite. I’m positive I couldn’t stomach it. If there was an earthquake, I would rather die than eat it.

Can you handle the truth?
::No. I prefer fantasy to the harsh realities of the world.  My imagination is kinder.

Do you like green eggs and ham?
::I would rather eat wet cat food.

Who is your daddy? And what does he do?
::I can’t remember ever calling my dad "daddy". I must have as a kid. But I don’t suppose that is what this question is about anyway.  So nope, I don’t have a daddy. But if I did, he would do what ever I told him to do. Yowza!
First name: Jodi
Nickname(s): Jodler (Aaron and Chad), J-Bone (I freaking HATE you, Wamieson), Jodi Teacher (or Jodi T), Jo, Jodes, Kermit (Carey), Canada (when I was in Malaysia), Pumpkin (moms)
Current Location: Suji, Yongin, South Korea
Eye color: greenish brown… brownish green…
Do you live with your parent(s): No
Do you get along with your parent(s): Yes
Are you parents married, divorced, or seperated: Divorced
Do you have any siblings: Yes – one younger brother (Brian)
Ice Cream: Rolo
Season: Fall
Color(s): Red
Do you…
Write on your hand? Often.
Call people back? Not always… I’m bad for that.
Believe in love? Yes.
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes, the side closest to a fire exit. 
Have any bad habits? Nope. I’m a fucking SAINT (sorry, that’s the caffeine and whiskey talking).
Have you ever…
Broken a bone? Remember my pseudo-hip-cancer? Where the "cancer" is the hip is cracked.
Sprained something? My ankles.
Had physical therapy? Yes, for my back.
Gotten stitches? Yes, three on my hand and three under my eye.
Taken painkillers? Yes.
Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling? I’ve been snorkeling.
Been stung by a bee? Yes, a few times. The worst was the one that was hiding in the sleeve of my Brownie uniform.
Thrown up at the dentist’s office? No, but that’s a good idea.
Sworn in front of your parents? Yes. Sorry, moms.

Who/What was the last…
Last movie you saw? 300
Person to text you? Amelia
Person you called? Amelia (new phones… FUN!)
Person to tackle you? Random children
Thing you touched? Ew! Person or thing?? EW!  I’m joking. I’m touching my computer now. (The last person was Amelia, and hey! She touched ME, okay?)
Thing you ate/drank? A raspberry mousse cake and cafe latte with the girls.
Thing you said out loud? You bastard! (at my computer)

Person you high-fived? One of the kids, I’m sure of it. Probably for figuring out what the damned verb in a sentence was.


If you can even believe this happy-crappy… I’m pretty sure I have pink eye. Pink eye. At 30*. Cripes.
Get me away from these deseased little monkeys…
*It isn’t 31 yet.  Unless you count "Korean Age", at which I believe I’m now approximately 47.

Friday's Feast

I would have done this yesterday, but I went straight from work to Itaewon to watch some live music. Some of it was good. Some of it was not.  But that one crazy, drunk, dancing Korea was all goodness no matter what the music sounded like!
Who is your favorite news anchor/reporter? Why?
Jon Stewart, beyond a doubt. Mostly because he is accutely aware of his role in American media.  He is also funny and hot, never a bad combination.

Name 3 foods that are currently in your freezer.

Hang on – I will go look.  There are only four "foods" so I’ll list them all. Chocolate, mystery meat (which I will toss out once I’m done typing this), coffee, and hard alcohol.

If you were to have the opportunity to name a new town or city, what would you call it?

Captain Turbotasticville.  Of course.

Main Course
What will most likely be the next book you read?

I’m currently reading four or five books (not including the ones I have to read with the wee retards I teach)… but I think next I will read Bill Bryson’s "The Lost Continent".

What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite gender?

Dude, the first thing that I notice is that they ARE the opposite gender. After that, what I notice next can really vary.

Help Me… Flip You Off

So, I don’t think there is enough information about giving people the bird on the internet. I’m aware of the basics… extend middle finger… etc. 
But I’m more interested in the funniest ways you can think of to flip someone off…
Let me have it peeps, I’m trying to put together a list of the funniest ways to flip people off (like hold up three fingers and ask, "Can you read between the lines?").  I appreciate your help.
Note: This ( is pretty funny…


Last night I went to the movies with Brooke, Chad, and John to see 300. For those of you not in the know, this was an adaptation of a graphic novel by Frank Miller. I didn’t know that part until the end of the movie.  I really enjoyed it. I mean, it could have been utter crap and it would have still had 300 half-naked hot men in it. With that sort of visual, um, stimuli, how could the movie be all that bad?

Juvenile Humour

Last week I had to read the following story with my 2:30 class. I was the only one laughing (until I got to the Teacher’s Room and read it out loud to Amelia).  Apparently I am the most immature person in a class of 7-year-olds. 
Get Chubby to the Tub
Uh, oh. Look at Chubby. He is wet and dirty. Oh, dear, he stinks. What did he do?  Where did he play?  I can’t stand him!
Excellent!  A tub, soap, and a hose are ready. Come here, my silly sweetie, Chubby, and I will give you a big bone… I know you will love the big bone.
Come on! My silly sweetie, Chubby, get in the tub. We will rub. We will scrub. We will get you clean.
Oh dear!  Where is he going?  Chubby is gone. Chase fat, stupid Chubby!
Oh no! Wet Chubby is rolling in the mud. I get him but Chubby gets away. Steve gets him but Chubby gets away! We are rolling in the mud. Finally I get him.
Oh my! Look at us. All of us are wet and muddy. We need a hot bath. Let’s get in the tub together.

I May Not Get to Heaven…

…but I’ll sure have fun on my way to… to wherever it is I am going!

Harfy Bunger

I can’t believe I was sick for St. Patrick’s Day. Cruel, cruel fate.