Monthly Archives: February 2007

Friday's Feast

What sound, other than the normal ringing, would you like your telephone to make?
I actually don’t go in for fancy ringtones – I think that they are annoying. I wish everyone would set their phones to vibrate.  That said, I do like what my phone does when I get a text message. In English, it says "I love you!"  This makes me happy.
Describe your usual disposition in meteorological terms (partly cloudy, sunny, stormy, etc.).
Sunny with storms looming on the horizon.

What specific subject do you feel you know better than any other subjects?

Postmodern literature and theatre. Too bad no one ever asks to discuss this subject with me.

Main Course
Imagine you were given the ability to remember everything you read for one entire day. Which books/magazines/newspapers would you choose to read?

I would read The Bible, Bill Bryson’s "A Short History of Nearly Everything", and a dictionary.  Why would anyone waste their time with magazines or newspapers??

If a popular candy maker contacted you to create their next confection, what would it be like and what would you name it?

I’d want a calorie-free and fat-free (but still tasting the same as the original!) never-ending Skor bar that would give me all my daily vitamins and minerals.

The Madness

Signed up today to watch the games online. Can’t wait for Selection Sunday on March 11! Hooray!

The Booker Prize

I just finished reading "Disgrace" by J.M. Coetzee. It was alright. But it made me wonder how many Booker Prize winners I have read. Thanks to Wikipedia, now I know. Thanks to my blog, now you know too. Hooray! Maybe if they ever give one out for kick-ass blogs. I’ll freaking win one. That would be rad.
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood (shortlisted in 2003)
Life of Pi by Yann Martel (winner in 2002)
Unless by Carol Shields (shortlisted in 2002)
The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood (winner in 2000)
Disgrace by JM Coetzee (winner in 1999)
Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood (shortlisted in 1996)
Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha by Roddy Doyle (winner in 1993)
The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields (shortlisted in 1993)
The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje (winner in 1992)
The Van by Roddy Doyle (shortlisted in 1991)
The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie (shortlisted in 1988)
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (shortlisted in 1986)
The authors in red are Canadian… that makes me proud.  Just for you, Brendan, I indicated the one Irish guy I recognized in green. There were other Canucks on the list – but I hadn’t read those particular books. I think my university degree had a lot to do with which books I have read on this list… even though I only read three of these in class (Alias Grace, The Stone Diaries, and The Handmaid’s Tale).

Write Me a "Compare and Contrast" Essay

The kids continually surprise me. Here is Gina’s essay.  What a nut… I love this kid! She would be aged 9 back home.
<<Devils vs. Angels>>
I will compare and contrast Devils and Angles. Angels and Devils have different things. They are mostly opposite but not all. They have some same things too.
Angels live in Heaven. In Heaven there are clouds, God, and more angels. Devils live in Hell. In Hell there is fire, lava, and dark things.  Similarities between Heaven and Hell include there being things that we can’t touch.
The Devil’s nature is evil, hurtful, and harmful. They are very bad to people. The Angel’s nature is virtuous (that means good) and they are helpful to people. If there were no Angels people would think bad things more than good things.  There is one nature that is the same, they are both supernatural and have super powers that people don’t have.
Devils are red and dark and they have horns. Angels don’t have horns. Angels look white and bright. They both have wings but an angel’s are white and they have many feathers. Devils’ have red and dark wings and they are rough too.
In conclusion, I think Angels are better than Devils and I could compare these two things. But sometimes we need a bad mind to win but to win fair.

Kindergarten Song List

Holy macaroni, have I ever been bad about blogging again. I don’t even have a viable excuse. Unless you count life being extremely uneventful lately.
Work has been busy with Level Tests, Evaluations, Graduation, and general chaos. I’m raising the Terror Alert Level to "Shit Storm". Again.
I’m done the Evals. The tests are half-marked. My kids know the grad song ("So Long, Farewell" from "Sound of Music". Which I already hate.) So things should be good. But I don’t know what my new classes will be. The new teachers aren’t here yet. They don’t have enough teachers for the other school yet, and are really, really keen on hiring some girls (and also willing to over-pay for girls – if you know a chick with a degree who would like to kick some ass in Asia for a year).  So, things are still pretty crazy.
So, between that and my extreme laziness, I haven’t been blogging. Sorry.
A couple of weeks ago, Brooke, Amelia and I went to the RMT for wings and beers on a Thursday night. It was glorious. While we were there, the girls and I made up a list of songs to teach my kindergarten class this next year (well, for the March – September period of time that I will have them).  We were ridiculous. And because I am afraid I am going to lose the bar napkin (bad sign) that we wrote them down on – I’m going to toss the list down here. 
The Oscar Mayer Weiner Song
Fresh Prince theme
Fraggle Rock theme
Saved by the Bell theme
Polka Dot Door theme (you have to be a Canuck to know this one)
Happy Days theme
Blue Berry Hill
Under the Sea (which Amelia spelled "Under the See".  She’s delayed.)
I Just Can’t Wait to Be King (Lion King)
Buddy Holly (Weezer)
Yakety Yak (Don’t Talk Back)
Johnny B. Goode
Flinstones commercial jingle
Toys R Us commercial jingle
Chantilly Lace
Iko Iko (turns out that is what that song is actually called. Wierd.)
Yellow Submarine
Octopus’ Garden
The Unicorn Song
Puff the Magic Dragon
The Lion Sleeps Tonight
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Amelia swears there is a "clean" version)
Army Song (I know what this is)
Corner Master’s Store
"RoomBsom" (What the HELL Amelia???)
Never Ending Song
Duck Tales theme
Oo-ee-oo-oo-ah! (Actually known as "The Witch Doctor" but we couldn’t remember)
Monkey Song from the Jungle Book ("I Wanna Be Like You")
Bear Necessities (also Jungle Book)
Greese (we figure some sort of "melody" of the songs. Yikes.)
Monkees theme
Robin Hood and L’il John
Ice Ice Baby (oh yah!)
Running Man (I don’t think this is a song. We just wanted to remember that they would also need to learn how to dance…)
Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen)
ABBA (apparently either "any" or "all" ABBA songs. Yikes.)
Minipops (for inspiration)
The Chipmunks (for further inspiration because clearly this effing list isn’t long enough for 7 months of teaching yet)
Sugar Sugar (hooray, The Archies!)
The Gambler
Save a Horse (I seriously hope Amelia was kidding)
Drunken Sailor
Cheers theme
Wish me luck!  I will soon post videos of the kids singing "Happy Xmas" and "Wonderwall". They really will learn anything you want them to… if you want them to badly enough!

Friday's Feast

Appetizer – Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
I’ve been sick a few times but mostly just colds. I get sneezed on a lot.
Soup – What colors dominate your closet?
Mostly black.

Salad – How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?

It depends on who is in it.

Main Course – On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?

The Amazing Race.

Dessert – Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?


Sweet, Sweet Hoolicia!

I freaking LOVE mail that I didn’t send to myself!!
Thank you so much for your fabulous package!  You rock the world!  How excited am I to have my Skor Bars replenished, along with my Dentyne supply?  How great is it to have mags and a CD?  How amazing are you that you send A&W Rootbeer-flavoured lip smackers??
Kick any more ass, Hoolicia, and I’ll have to get on a plane and come give you a big, sloppy, wet kiss!

Thanks Moms!

Hi Moms,
My package with the sweetest shirts ever arrived today.  I’m looking good in my helicopter shirt and the "Chad is Rad" shirt fits Chad.  I really appreciate you sending things like this along… I know what a pain in the arse the post office is.  My favourite thing about routing mail through you (other than "I have no choice" and "I know you will send it promptly") is that when the package arrives I get to see your handwriting. I don’t think it has changed much since I was a kid (if at all).  I like your block letters that you use for labels. When I see the packing slips, you know what I always think of?  Remember when I went to Brownie Camp* and had to have all that shite with me?  Remember I had that mess-kit?  I think of that mess-kit with the masking tape labels with my name on them all in your block-letters.  I had that things for YEARS (as in, all the way through University) and those labels never came off. You are the best moms ever.
I miss you!
Loves,j. xo.
*for the rest of you reading the blog:  Yes, I was a Brownie.  In fact, I was a "Pixie" and a "Sprite". I made things with popsicle sticks and earned my badges. Ya wanna make something of it?

The Snailiest Mail

I recieved a letter from my step-mom Gerry yesterday, which was a HUGE surprise.  I’ve only recieved a few letters here (all from Jeanine), so it was pretty cool to get a handwritten letter.  Even cooler, it arrived by dogsled.
Obviously, not all the way.
Here’s the scoop:
"You have just received a very special envelope CARRIED BY DOGTEAM over the Gold Rush Trail from Quesnel to Barkerville to Wells British Coloumbia. At Wells the mail was unloaded from the dogsleds and placed into the regular postal system and then delivered throughout the world to the final destinations. Last year over 1960 envelopes were delivered to 9 provinces, 3 territories, 20 American states, and 20 other countries. En route from Quesnel to Wells, the sled dog teams (along with skiers, skijorers, snowshoers and snowmobilers) actually travelled over much fo the Cariboo Waggon Road which was built in the early 1860’s to facilitate access to the gold in Barkerville on Williams Creek and triggering what became known as the Cariboo Gold Rush. As the dog teams made their way over this route, they passed through the locations of seven existing or former post offices, including Quesnel (Quesnelle, Quesnelmouth), Cottonwood House, Stanley, Van Winkle, Richfield, Barkerville, and Wells. In addition the route passed through the sites of several other former gold rush settlements including Pine Grove House, Beaver Pass House, Marystwon and Camerontown."
SWEET!  Thanks Gerry! I bet I’m the first Canadian (or even "first person") to ever receive a letter via dogsled in Seoul, South Korea!

Thanks Jon!

My friend Jon from Vancouver sent me the attached picture. It is courtesy of Jessica Hagy at and I likes it a lot!
Thanks Jon! Thanks Jessica: a person I don’t know but I find witty. Cheers.