Monthly Archives: January 2007

Joke from my Moms

My moms sent me this joke and I actually thought it was pretty funny. So I thought I would share.
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring for Christmas so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.

Friday's Feast

Which television shows do you just refuse to miss?
There is only one that I "just refuse" to miss… 24.

Who did you last speak to on the telephone?

Brendan – he needed to know which bus to take to come to Suji.

How many pillows do you keep on your bed?

I have four pillows – two normals and two throw pillows.

Main Course
Name one addition to your computer (software, hardware, etc.) that you’d love to have.

I think I have everything attached to my computer that I would like to have, but I would like to have a new computer. I’m just waiting to hear that Apple has released their new systems capable of running a dual OS.*

What is your favorite foreign food?

Being Canadian, almost all the food I eat could be classified as "foriegn", so this tough. I think I would have to say "Japanese", because I could happily eat sushi everyday for the rest of my life.
*Nerd Alert!

Looking for Work? Or Know Someone Who Is?

Alright. I told work I would ask people I knew if they wanted to work in Korea. But I can’t be fussed to send out an email to everyone on my contact’s list because… well, because most of the people I know have freaking jobs. But MAYBE some of you guys might know people who aren’t happy in their jobs and would like a change. Or people who aren’t working but want to. Or something.
Here’s the deal – to work in Korea all you need is a University Degree. That’s it. And to be perfectly honest, working here has freaking rocked. Easily the best (and easiest!) job I have had to date.  Now, granted, there are bad days. There are terrible days. There are some days that are complete and utter shit-shows. However, there aren’t as many as I used to have in my old job. And there are also great days.
The work would be with the school I am at – LCI Kids Club in either Suji, Yongin or nearby (25 minutes walking from the old school) at the new school. The school is really reliable – the bosses are reasonable and you are always paid fully and on-time. The other people working here are pretty cool.
The pay is average for Korea but better than most places would pay for entry-level back home. I believe most people here get approximately 2.0 million won per month (as of today, that would be $2488.88CAD) plus overtime. Your housing is provided. All you pay is utilities (depending on what you have… ie: internet or not – they are usually less than $100 per month) and tax (4.5%).  It is good money, people! And keep in mind, things here (like food, booze, cigarettes, etc) are really cheap. (Actually, most sinful things here are really cheap. If you are into that sort of thing. Because I’m not. Beer is $2 a pint.)
The work is pretty easy, and I find it rather fullfilling. I dig teaching kids shit like how to read and stuff. (Currently "stuff" includes teaching my kindergarten class how to sing "Wonderwall" by Oasis. Or to harrass Keesie-Teacher with a round of "Go Canucks Go". I do a lot of stuff for my own enjoyment.)  It IS kindergarten, but you can’t think of kindergarten like it would be back home. I do book-work all day (when it isn’t playtime, that is). The kids in the afternoon are in grades 1 to 3. And they freaking LOVE you. I feel like a rock-star each and every day. I’m very popular amongst the seven-year-old set (sigh… why couldn’t it be 22 – 30 year old boys??). I doubt I will ever have a job where I’m greeted so enthusiastically each morning. Or get so many hugs.
On average, you would teach 10am until 7pm Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and 10am until 5:30pm on Tuesday and Thursday, if you have a full schedule. It may be less than that.
For me, the job itself isn’t the best part of being here. So far, the travelling has been the best part. I’ve now been to Thailand (technically  three times!), Hong Kong, Cambodia, China, and Malaysia. I’m going to Japan in the spring, and have yet another trip planned for the summer (either Tibet or Vietnam/Laos depending on cost).
I’ve also met some really great people here; some that I know I will consider good friends for a lifetime even though I may have only known them for 12 months (I’m not talking about you Brendan!) or less (I will try my best to be at your wedding, Orla and Joe!! Loves!). I often think about how cool it is that we now know each other as we would have never met if we hadn’t all been here (Alright… maybe I AM talking about you Brendan.  But also the rest of Team Six. And Lord Ameliar.)
Holy crap, where was I?? Oh yah! So, anyway, it is a pretty good gig and if you are looking for something different to do I highly recommend it. If you know someone else who might be interested in an opportunity like this, well, heck. I would highly recommend it to them too.  However, please remember that I’m going to have to work with these people so NO WANKERS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Thank you.
Seriously, if you are interested or have more questions, you can email me at

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Oh boy… this happened a LONG time ago but I kept forgetting to write about it. Funniest thing to happen in class ever. I freaking LOVE these kids some days!
In my 5:30 class one of the boys had stopped coming to LCI. His name is Robbie. He was a decent student (I thought) and although a bit strange, no worse than any of the others. The only thing was that Robbie had some sort of sty or something on his eye. It looked pretty gross but not extremely gross. Gross enough that I did worry about it being contageous. I mean, I don’t want a freaking sty.
Anyhoo – he wasn’t at LCI anymore and in my debate class (which he had also attended), the kids were talking about him. Well, to my surprise, the other kids hated Robbie. Apparently he was a bit of a bully and he used to cheat on tests (news to me… I never caught him at it). So the kids were all bad-mouthing him. I let it go for a little while, as at least they were "expressing their ideas in English".  Rock on. But after a bit I told them to cool it… it wasn’t very nice and anyway – we didn’t have to see him anymore.  To which Sarah (she rocks) replied, "Oh yah, YOU guys don’t have to see him. But he goes to my elementary school. I have to see him every day. Makes me wish I was blind."
I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair. It was the funniest thing ever said by one of my students. Until Minnie turned to Sarah and matter-of-factly remarked, "Hey, if you were blind you could have a dog!"

Dirty Dancing

I watched Dirty Dancing tonight for the first time in years. The first time I saw it I was in grade five. How old is that? Ten or eleven years old?  Anyway, I think it may have adversely effected what I want out of relationships. No, seriously.
Do you remember the movie? Basically, it is about forbidden summer love. Patrick Swayze (Johnny) is a dance instructor at a resort that Jennifer Grey’s character (Baby) and her family stay at for the summer. This and that happens, Johnny’s partner can’t dance in a big show, so he and Baby do the act together. And of course they fall madly in love and have an intense summer thing. And of course it is all covert and misunderstood and stuff. And I used to really want to be Baby in that movie – I thought she was so lucky. Not because I wanted to be Jennifer Grey (I didn’t like her hair but I really wanted to wear white jean capris and have a tan). And not because Swayze is incredibly hot… I think he’s kind of a dork now (I did then too – and he was too old for me at the time. When I pictured myself in the role of Baby, the role of Johnny was being played by River Phoenix. I don’t think he was a dancer – he seemed far too cool to be a dancer – but he was certainly hot and persumably young enough to want to go for the 10-year-old me) but I did want the relationship that they were having.
The problem therein is that I think I’m still looking for that sort of situation in relationships… to fall in love instantaneously and have it be intense and full of drama. I wasn’t interested in a nice, long-lasting, secure, and stable relationship – I wanted to dance with someone I wasn’t allowed to see and in a place I wasn’t allowed to be. Preferably with neither of us wearing a shirt, while it rained warmly outside, and with the perfect soundtrack playing on the record-player. I still want that.
When I was 10 I didn’t really think about what would happen after the summer ended, and I honestly don’t think I think about it now at 30. I’m retarded. And because of how Dirty Dancing has effected my life, I’m definitely going to grow old alone, have too many cats, and live in a basement suite.

My Bad

Um, I just realized with two Friday’s Feasts in a row (and Carey’s comment) that I haven’t been blogging very much lately. Sorry about that (I’m not sure who I’m even apologizing to – mostly ME, I suppose, as this is like my journal of what I’m doing in Korea and with life and whatever).  I’ll try to be more on top of it. Life’s been a bit crazy the last little bit – just trying to get back into the swing of things after having a sweet-ass vacation.  Which reminds me… I should blog about Malaysia…

Friday's Feast

What comes to mind when you see the color orange?
I think of fall and Halloween.

Did you ever get in trouble while you were in school? If so, what was it for?

Not very often. I was fairly well-behaved. And when I wasn’t… well, I could talk my way out of it most of the time.  The one time I remember getting kicked out of class was grade 9 science. We were watching a movie about a woman giving birth. It was graphic and looked horribly painful. I’ll skip the details, but at one point I opened my big mouth and loudly commented, "Well, there’s my number one reason for birth control." My teacher was not impressed.

Which topping(s) make up your perfect pizza?

Meat and cheese.

Main Course
Do you believe in UFOs/aliens/etc.? Why or why not?

I find it pretty remarkable that every little thing necessary to create complex life forms happened once. I don’t think it is likely that the conditions are so ideal often; however, I do think such a thing is possible. I just sincerely doubt that if there are other intelligent life forms that they have the ability (or gumption) to visit us. I do believe that the UFOs and such that people have seen are actually the results of scientific experimentation done by the military/government of (insert nation) that is highly classified for whatever reason which leads to the shroud of secrecy often surrounding them further leading to conspiracy theories and other spoutings by people who are usually nutbars.

What color is your bedspread/comforter/quilt?

Ruby – the same colour as Bob Saget’s shirt. (That one’s just for you, Ameliar! Ha!)

Friday's Feast

Which celebrity (or celebrities) do you think will make headlines this year?
You want to know one thing I love about being in Korea? When I go to the supermarket, there is not a rack of shitty magazines like People and Star at the checkout full of information about celebrities that I don’t care about. True story.

They say that good things come in small packages? What is something little that you think is great?

My iPod. It is little and I heart it muchly.

Name a song that makes you want to dance.

"It’s Like That" by Run DMC.

Main Course
What is your favorite font?

Ariel: its a great, easy-to-read font for just about everything.*

If you were to write a do-it-yourself article, what would it be about?

Probably how to keep your desk clean. Then I would leave copies of it around the teacher’s room.  I hate unorganized desk space!
*Lord help me… I actually had an opinion about a font!!

It Should ALWAYS Be Year of the Dragon

This entry is in direct response to Brendan’s blog. Too bad "Dogs get along worst with Dragons"…
The Dragon is omnipotent. He is flamboyant, attractive and full of vitality and strength. In China, the Dragon is the sign of the Emperor of China or the male element Yang. The Dragon is the symbol of power and wealth. It would be right to say that people born in the year of the dragon have a natural charisma and are certainly gifted with power and luck. It is unlikely for them to escape unnoticed from a party or to take second place in a competition. The dragon person has an active mind and shows an unfeigned interest in the world around him/her. This person is also self-confident enough to know how to create a necessary impression. Because they are larger than life themselves, dragon people like to do everything on a grand scale. They are egotistical and ambitious, almost to the point of megalomania, and will stop at nothing to get what they want. A person born in this year wears the crown of destiny, and is capable of great achievements if he or she knows how to harness his or her tremendous energy, intelligence and talent. While these people enjoy being the center of attention, they also have a brave and charitable side to their personality. If a dragon’s friend faces a problem or dilemma, he or she will be there to offer help, and when others leave the field of battle the dragon takes a step forward to solve the problem with authority and dignity. Dragons set a high standard of actions for themselves as well as for other people and are surprised when others cannot cope with a task; they are so carried away by the process that they fail to see other people’s weaknesses.
Specifically, I am a "Fire Dragon" (which I believe means I kick even MORE ass) about which Wiki says…
In Chinese tradition fire is one of the five elements. It is associated with the planet Mars, summer and the south, and the colour red. It is believed to govern the heart. Fire is associated with the qualities of dynamism, strength and persistence, and with restlessness and a sense of adventure. The element fire plays an important role in Chinese Astrology and feng shui , the Chinese form of geomancy.
Take THAT, Dog!

Happy New Year

You want to remember what happened over the course of the night?  Take notes on a bar napkin!
Amelia and I went to the RMT for New Years and it was a great amount of fun… mostly because of each other. We probably could have been anywhere. Here is the list of things that we thought necissary to remember.
1. I’m going to name my first born daughter Amelia.
Best pick up line ever. Didn’t work.
2. I get that all the time. I blame it on the weiner.
Amelia said this. I’m not going to tell you why.
3. Prince charming cheap drink.
Amelia and I were sitting at the bar, right where everyone was coming up to order. This one guy walks up, turns to us and says, "What’s a really cheap drink that a girl would like?"  Way to go, Romeo.
4. Amelia’s effort 4 Jodi: Polka dot long johns.
5. Fiery cock.
Okay, number five baffled me a little… but now I remember what we were talking about. Amelia is a fire sign born in the year of the Rooster… thus a "Fiery Cock".  We decided that "Amelia" is latin for an ancient VD.
6. Hiedi (Cal) – "Canada? I’ve heard of that!"
True story. Who let’s the yanks into our bar anyway???
Heidi – Do what U Want to… Shit fuck bitch!  010-8-55309
Heidi added to our notes when she saw what we are doing. And then an absolutely turbo-tastic guy added this note:
It is more dangerous to be a teaher then a soldier.
When he realized that we were laughing at him, and explained that he had spelled teacher incorrectly, he looked at it again and said, "Yes, I did. There’s another T in there… isn’t there?"
This is why he’s in the military and not a teacher. True story.
Well, that was my New Year’s Eve in a nutshell. Thanks Ameliar!