Captain Cuckoo Bananas

Some people are getting a bit worried about the situation over here with the North Koreans and their leader. If you haven’t heard… check out the news. It’s pretty tense in the region right now. However, I am not worried. I honestly believe that things will go one of two ways:
1. There will finally be talks and everyone will calm the fuck down for a while again.
2. There will be a war, and it will be so big that you will have just as much as I do to be worried about.
Number one is self-explanatory, but I’ll elaborate a bit on number two. My theory is that either North Korea or America will strike first. If North Korea strikes first, they won’t be aiming for South Korea. This is more than slightly less-than-elegant… but why would they lay a big steamy dump in their own back yard?  No, no. They will attack the States (thus, you dudes have more to worry about than me). Of course, if N. Korea hits the USA, the US will hit back (remember Hiroshima? The Americans don’t take lightly to being attacked at home). I’m hoping that there are enough American citizens in S. Korea that we will get a warning before they hit back. But it won’t really matter in the end anyway. Because if the US hits N. Korea, China’s going to get pissed. If they don’t, Japan will be pissed. No matter what, you have the world’s largest military powers pissed off at each other. And then we are all fucked.
I don’t think it is quite time for the end of all civilization. Life on earth will not… CAN not end until I have worn a jet-pack that will let me fly to work. Seriously.
In the meantime, I have my contingency plans all laid out. I’m going to register with the Canadian embassy (so they can help take off, eh?). I’m also preparing my plan two: which is to hide under my bed with my gameboy, sword, and lifetime supply of peanut M&M’s.
Personally, and seriously, I think it will all work out fine. Most of the time, I don’t think about it. And I’m certainly not worried about it.

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