I’ve been really lazy about writing lately, but with good reason. I don’t feel like it.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little bit down. Not depressed or anything, just blue. Perhaps melancholy without the infinite sadness.
I couldn’t really figure out why for a long time, but I think I’ve mostly put it together. You see, nothing has really happened to make me feel this way, but there are a lot of little things lurking that I think finally ganged up on me to take me out. Some of them are obviously more important than others, but they all add up to Jodi-Teacher not feeling 100%.
1. Got the black belt. This is a good thing, yes. But you guys would not believe how worked up I was about this stupid test. Which is strange for me, because I have NEVER worried about a test in the past. Or about getting up in front of people to do… well, to do anything. But I was all worked up about it, and now it is over. And there was nothing afterwards to get worked up about. So although I should be feeling pleased and relieved, I feel like something is missing.
2. My fish died. I don’t know what happened… I fed him in the morning and he was fine. I went to get something out of the fridge for supper and he wouldn’t move off the bottom of the bowl. He was so dumb that he didn’t even know to float when he died. Idiot.
3. 24 season 5 is over. It was a great season, but I had to watch it (for the first time) mostly all by myself, and now it is over. What am I supposed to pirate now??
4. The weather has shit the bed. It is either smoggy, muggy and hot hot hot… or there are storms (like today). The barometer is fucking with my emotions.
5.Part of my Victoria Secret order was back-ordered. I hate that.
6. My back is bothering me again a little bit. I blame doing TKD 5 or 6 times a week… but STILL!
7. My dad died in June just a couple of years ago. And although I don’t really think about it specifically very often, I think that may be one of the underneath, lurking things that is underpining everything else that is happening.
8. I signed up for Bebo and only have 2 friends. I should be MUCH more popular than that.
9. I’m out of Skor bars. My coffee and gum stash is fine though!
10. 64% of our staff is leaving within the next 6 weeks (Brooke and Chad in just 2!). I like the people I work with (for a change) and I’m going to miss them.
Sigh. So that’s what’s going on. And there’s more than that going on inside my head, but the world-at-large isn’t ready for what goes on inside my head. And the other things aren’t for sharing. And a bitch-list of 10 things of what’s "wrong with me" is long freaking enough. Hopefully with the rain today the weather will get better and I’ll feel more like myself next week.