Monthly Archives: September 2005

>Dumpster diving

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Okay, okay… I’m not really digging through dumpsters (so you can calm down, moms… you raised me SLIGHTLY better than that). But a lot of people around here put furniture and shit out for the garbage guys to take. And some of it is kind of nice. Besides, I’m almost 100% sure that is where my other furniture came from initially anyway. Well, I have attached a few pictures of my most recent “finds”. In the garbage. Sweet. I heart free garbage furniture.

Free to good home: contacts, case, and glasses

>Yesterday I went with Veronica to see an eye doctor in Seoul that speaks English pretty well. Eye exams, glasses and contact lenses are supposed to be really cheap here, so I thought I would get my prescription updated. As well, Andrea had corrective surgery with this guy and I thought I would ask about doing that. Most of the morning was pretty standard – no scary or weird procedures. I had to see two doctors though, because of my interest in the surgery. Good news: I’m a perfect candidate for it. So they have me talk to the receptionist to book a time. I let her know that I can only come in on Saturdays. So she whips out a calendar so we can pick the day. She has the calendar on September, so I explain that she has to turn to October because the only Saturday left in September is… well… TODAY. She says “You want today?”. So I said yes.

ON A WHIM I HAD EYE SURGERY. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??

Would you like to know the number one reason to make sure that your doctor can speak English when you are asking him to cut open your eye and cook it with a laser? So he can understand you when you say “I can FEEL that!!!” The second eye… the second eye I could feel what he was doing. Not cool. He stopped right away though and refroze the eye (drops, not a needle).

Although I hope I never have to do anything like that again, I am so happy that I’ve done it. Hooray!

Here is the last picture of me (hopefully!) with glasses on….

Original Comments:

Frances wrote (on 26/09/05):
Yikes! I will have many questions for you tomorrow.

>Party at Andrea’s house

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What rules when someone decides they are going to eat healthy? They throw a party where you can eat their junk food and drink their booze. Thank you, Andrea. I hope that you are learning about what the fuck a blog is. And for the rest of you, blog is short for “weblog”. STOP ASKING.


PS: I’m drunk. I’m sorry. So much swearing.

>Who knew?

>Today is National “Talk Like a Pirate Day”. Check out this site to learn more. Arr! I wonder if they be knowing what pirates ARE in Korea…

>I’m thankful for a long weekend

>

This weekend was Chuseok in Korea, so we had a long weekend. Thank goodness. And you would think I would be relaxed enough to do a blog sometime this weekend, but I have been feeling delightfully lazy. But the original Police Academy movie just came on TV, and if Steve Guttenburg can’t inspire me to write a blog entry, then there is something wrong with the world.

Friday

Friday during the day was CRAZY. All the kids were dressed up in their traditional outfits called “hanboks“. They were super-cute. Monstrously bad, but cute. There was also a birthday party on Friday for Amy, and it was mayhem. I’m going to post pictures for your viewing pleasure on Flikr.

I said I was not going out Friday night, and I did not. I’m insanely proud of myself.

Saturday

I went into Seoul with Veronica on Saturday. We had our hair done at an Aveda salon and it was great. JT did a great job (and he spoke English – definitely a bonus) and I’m happy with it. I still think I want to cut it all off, but I’m trying to wait until Erin can get here from Japan… I think I promised her the chop. After hair we went for a wonderful dinner in a restaurant that made me feel like I was nowhere near Korea. It was great! Thanks, Veronica!

Sunday

Went to “Everland” today. Everland is Korea’s major theme park and it is FUN! I went with Laura, Frances and Orla. They were great to go there with because all of us like to scream on rides even if it isn’t all that scary. And we all did. There was much yelling. It was fun.

The best part was that (oh moms… you would have loved this!) it is “Halloween Festival” for all of September and October. The ENTIRE theme park was decorated for Halloween! It was CRAZY! Again, there will be pictures on Flikr for you to check out. It was one of the greatest days I have had in Korea. I hope to go there again – it wasn’t very expensive considering how much fun we had!

Monday

Laid around like a lump. Watched Police Academy. Weird side note: Kim Cattrall (of Sex in the City fame) is Cadet Karen Thompson in the movie. Weird.

>To avoid swallon

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Sometimes the best part of being here is the weird-ass shite you can find. I bought a new alarm clock today. Yes, Moms, I had one. But I did NOT have one shaped like a blender. Which this one is. I will get a picture posted soon. But the instructions are in Korean (I know, I know… you would think I would figure out that every-fucking-thing is in Korean) so I go to their website (www.homade-product.com, if you are interested) to see if I can find the instructions in English (or at least translate them).

The company’s slogan is: We Make Time Taste Funny.

You sure do! HA HA HA!! The other great thing is that the only English on the instruction manual is the cautions they give. I repeat them here for your giggly enjoyment:

  • Please do not place the timer onto fire to avoid explosion.
  • To avoid swallon of removable battery plate, do not allow children to reach the timer.

I hope I remember their words of wisdom.

And this time… I mean it

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Joined a gym today. And this time, I mean it. Ha! It is funny because yes, I joined a gym, and YES, I ran the treadmill like a gerbil on a wheel for a while. Now I am sitting in my underpants at the computer eating a tub of carmel corn. YES.

The gym here is great. It cost me 75,000W (about $80) for the month. Which is pretty pricey for Korea. But get this… I go there and they not only give me as many towels as I need (instead of one, thank YOU YWCA), but they give you GYM STRIP. Shorts and a t-shirt. SWEET! Less laundry for me and I don’t have to haul shit around all over the place. Also, they gave me a really hip little bag. No, it is ugly. But it was FREE and now all the Koreans (and only Koreans, because the bag is (duh) in Korean) will know where I go to the gym.

My first problem is that the treadmill only speaks Korean. I suppose that makes sense because I’m in Korea but… but DAMN IT I DON’T SPEAK KOREAN!! And it isn’t like I can ask the treadmill if any of the other treadmills speak English. Stupid treadmills. So I take a guess at the buttons and figure “green should mean go”. No. No, it doesn’t. It means “do you want to run at a steady pace or kill yourself on one of the death running programs of this workout equipment you can’t translate”. So I hit blue and it moves. Thank God an up-arrow means up (and down the opposite). Red does mean stop, if you were wondering. But I was willing to just get off the stupid machine and let it run alone if it didn’t. And there are TVs hooked up to each machine. Which is cool, but I REFUSE to put on the headphones provided so you can hear the sound. EWW!

So after working out and stretching, I decide to be brave and try the shower. Why brave? Because it is naked-o-rama in there, man. And yes, they gave me two towels, but each one is about the size of a tea towel. So I hold it in front of me like a maitre d’ at a restaurant and the damned thing doesn’t cover anything. Which turns out to be fine, because I have to ditch the stupid “towels” at the door of the shower. I head in there and… holy shit. I was expecting a couple of rows of shower heads and that was about it. This was beautiful! There was lovely tile everywhere and soft music playing (seriously). There were two saunas and two bathing pools – one cool and one warm. So nice. Worth being naked for half an hour. I think I might even go back.

PS: If anyone tries to tell you that Koreans do not have a body odour, tell them to try running in between two Korean men (who only walk on the treadmills… I mean… what’s the POINT??) for half an hour. They are plenty odorous.

>J9 rulz

>

Today the greatest thing happened. Yes, even greater than the $2 pint I just finished. I GOT MAIL. MAIL! Hooray! This was my first mail from Canada. Thank you Jeanine!! Jeanine sent a very nice card with pictures taken the night we girls went out for my birthday. FUN! Now all you have to do Jeanine is send me a guide on how to teach my monkeys to behave like children. Feel free to email it.

Thanks again, Jeanine. You made my day. I heart J-bear!

>Explanation of the last entry

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Careybatgirl brought it to my attention that she didn’t really “get” the last entry. Fair enough. And I know my Moms won’t have a clue who Michael Stipe is (but she is new to the internet… if any of you other bastards didn’t know you shoulda Googled the name). Here’s the explanation.

Michael Stipe is the lead singer for REM. They do a song called Leave. Two versions of it, actually. You can hear them both in the same movie. You get a cookie if you can name the movie (unless you are Andrea, who should damned well know what movie I’m talking about. I mean… her boyfriend is in it for God’s sake. So no cookie for Andrea). The one I gave the lyrics for below is the slow version. It is the one I can’t shake.

It is stuck in my head and I would like to exorcise it before I go completely nutbars. I’ve tried listening to it a lot, but that just enticed me to look up the lyrics. And I tried posting the lyrics, but it is still rolling around in my head, the way the cue and eight balls roll around a pool table until closing time when you’ve gotten too drunk to focus enough to finish the game.

You can try to read into the lyrics if you want, and make them fit my situation or some shit. I suppose they sort of do. But before you get all excited about your Freudian analytical prowess, know this: there is only one small part of the song caught in my head…

i suffer dreams of a world gone mad

i like it like that and i know it
i know it well, ugly and sweet
that temper madness with an even extreme

So you are only able to Freud that part of the song. It is a lovely song. If you would like it caught in your head, I could email it to you (note: if the Feds are reading this, there is NO WAY I would EVER EVER email a song to someone. EVER. I would show them how to download it legally from iTunes).

>Get OUT of my head, Michael Stipe!

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nothing could be bring me closer
nothing could be bring me nearer
where is the road i follow to leave, leave

it’s under, under, under my feet
the sea spread out there before me
where do i go where the land touches sea
there is my trust in what i believe

that’s what keeps me
that’s what keeps me
that’s what keeps me down
so leave, l
eave it, leave it all behind

shifting the dream, nothing could bring me further from my old friend time
shifting the dream, it’s charging the scene
i know where i marked the signs

i suffer dreams of a world gone mad
i like it like that and i know it
i know it well, ugly and sweet
that temper madness with an even extreme

that’s what keeps me,
that’s what keeps me,
that’s what keeps me down

i say that i’m a bantam lightweight
i say that i’m a phantom airplane
that never left the ground

lift my hands, my eyes are still
i walk into the scene
lift myself, a different place
just leaving

i’ve longed for this to take me
i’ve longed for my release
i’ve waited for the calling
to leave

that’s what keeps me
that’s what keeps me
that’s what keeps me down

leave, leave it, leave it all behind

that’s what keeps me
that’s what keeps me
that’s what keeps me down

to leave, leave it, leave it all behind

leave it, leave, leave, leave

believe, believe, believing
leave, leave, leave